My dearest Mo Deezy: In your Kute Sunday Kolumn, you call for the ouster of my boyfriend, Robert Gibbs. You think his recent Angrytime Yellsrant is evidence that he is adversarial with the press, hates his job, etc. Surprise! You have fallen for a very clever White Haus ruse. Maurizzle Dizzizzle, Robert Gibbs plays a tightly choreographed role predesigned and vetted by Team Obamar. When Gibbsie "lost it," he was making pretendz, so that people like you (and me, at first) would eat it up. Om nom nom!


Robert Gibbs's "outburst" against the totes profesh Left was a nicely executed move to posit Obama as less lefty and more centrist. It was an attempt to plant the seed that will flower into all those Obamacans and swing voters coming back out to support him in 2012. It was a theatrical bit of brand messaging -- "These lefty lefters are in opposition to and therefore different from Obama, who is in fact a smart centrist willing to work across party lines for the good of Amurrrrica. And I'm so gosh-durn mad about it, grrrr, I'm gonna use conservative-sounding sarcastic rhetoric about Canadian healthcare and drugtesting, wheeee! I'm even gonna sound a little FOX Newsy, so they can't tear me down for this one!"

This is kind of great. How can Barackistan be TOO DANG LIBRUL when the Professional Left thinks he is a warmongering big business-fellator? And look, even his own Press Administrative Assistant speaks of the ultra-Left with condescending scorn!

Hmm, Maw, maybe the black feller ain't disappointed us so much after all. And look at him always out tharr in Michigan with them car making folks whut got the blue collars on they sadness-shirts! Yep, this guy, he knows what got to be did so this country can change. He aint playin' to no hippie didgeridoo-fondlers. He's a common sense prezzydent! Etc, etc.

"...Gibbs isn't helpful. He's often unresponsive and sometimes hostile to the press. His adversarial barking has only heightened tensions with a press that was once lampooned for fawning over his boss."

Um, duhhhhhhh. What better way to eliminate the popular belief that the press is in the tank for Obama than to unleash a Press Secretary who acts like the press be trifling?

In conclusion, Robert Gibbs is doing everything right, and Maureen Dowd pays no attention to the men behind the curtain. They are the Puppetmasters and she their sexy elderginger reaction puppet. [NYT]

Sara Benincasa's eyesight is going, because she has to read and re-blog Maureen every Monday on her tiny BlackBerry screen, and also from the masturbation.

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