Donate
Nice Time

Nice Time! NYC Helping Out New Moms Like A Common Finland

But how will they become rugged individualists if they don't face postpartum stress and depression alone?

If this week has you doubting there's any hope at all, read this: New York City is doing something neat and smart and kind. Starting this spring in Brooklyn, and eventually expanding to the entire city, a new program will let new parents request home visits from baby experts -- that is, adults who know about babies, not babies, whose expertise is often limited to chewing their own feet and pooping. The idea is to help new parents make sense of the small squalling human beings who have suddenly invaded their homes, and to check up on how the parents are doing, too.

The program, with the straightforward name "New Family Home Visits," will provide up to six home visits from a nurse, community health worker, or doula, and will be available to all new parents. Heck, the visits will even be available to new adoptive parents and parents who used surrogates.

Blue babbling binkies! Did Finland (home of the free baby-supplies box that doubles as a crib) go and annex New York City while we weren't looking? If so, can Finland just take over altogether? This is what governments should be doing everywhere!

Keep reading... Show less
Mommyblogging

Elizabeth Warren Promises Little Girl She'll Close The Camps

Wingnuts: You mean OBAMA'S camps, hurr hurr!

At a campaign rally in Keene, New Hampshire, Tuesday, Elizabeth Warren took a question from a little girl about immigration policy. It was a pretty good question!

Girl: My name is Elizabeth [last name inaudible, thankfully for her family]

Warren: Oh wow! Double Elizabeth. I feel the power.

Girl: I'm seven years old.

Warren:
I'm not.

Girl: [purest loudest girly giggle you'll hear on video all week]
Keep reading... Show less
Mommyblogging

No, Wonkette's Not Giving Larry Klayman $75,000, LARRY.

As a wise woman once said (it was me!) GO SUE SOMEONE ELSE.

Larry Klayman, he's this lawyer. As he explains in his lawsuit against me, your editrix, personally, he is a very famous man, a public figure even, and I, your editrix, have committed defamation most foul by saying he seemed, based on (not his first) bar disciplinary proceedings, not to be a very good lawyer. He also seemed, based on his saying Obama administration employees were Barack's "white slaves," and based on his suing Barack Obama, Eric Holder, Louis Farrakhan, and Black Lives Matter, for "starting a race war," to be some flavor of white supremacist. He also seemed, based on those disciplinary proceedings, to have sexually harassed a woman. (I said "harassed," but Larry Klayman, in his lawsuit against me, added [sexually] before harassed in the excerpt from my story, because he is so "honest.")

Also, I let Jamie laugh at him some. And she DID say "sexually" harassed, which I wouldn't have said because it was romantic harassment (and definitely stalking), but she's the First Amendment attorney, not me, so I let it ride. Shall we read some lawsuit, like I read all 185 pages including the footnotes of his HARROWING DC bar disciplinary report, together?

Keep reading... Show less
Mommyblogging

Oh Yeah Sh*t's Getting Real

Looks like it's time for The Talk again!

I keep thinking about dominance, and not in the sex way :(

I keep thinking about it as it pertains to white men, identity politics, the Left, the primary. Some Bernie people did not cover themselves in glory when they demanded conservatives, centrists, squishy liberals, and real liberals "bend the knee" to them. Sure, it's a quote from a popular television program. But people do not like being dominated. (It was also the most boring part of that popular television program. The hot queen is fighting on three fronts, including zombies, but she's going to take time every episode to demand someone "bend the knee"? Get your priorities in order, hot queen!) Insisting on "my way ... OR DRAGONS" is not actually awesome.

I am a Warren person, after first being a Kamala person. A plurality of Wonkette writers are Warren people too. One is Maybe Bernie. A couple are Affirmatively Undecided until it's time to vote but possibly leaning toward a more centrist candidate. Nobody is a Bidener, that I know of -- late-breaking news, we do have a Bidener! -- unless and until he wins the nom, at which point we will jump on that bandwagon so hard we break our ankles. There are people on staff (me!) who would vote Bernie before Biden, and people who would not do that. Maybe you're harder Left than we are, or less. Maybe you're more hawkish, or less. There's an entire spectrum, just among the staff. We argue quite a bit in the chatcave! There's a far larger spectrum outside it.

Keep reading... Show less
Culture

A Christmas Miracle!

See you Thursday, bitchez!

All over the internet, in the year of our baby savior 2019, our sister and brother progressive websites have been shutting their asses down. But thanks to you, Wonkette is growing instead, like ... the oil? Or water to wine? I don't know, I'm very confused. Regardless, starting in just a week, we'll be joined full-time by Robyn and SER, so I -- you -- can pay them an actual living wage plus healthcare instead of freelance bullshit.

My heart, she sings! Mele Kelikimaka, or maybe War Pigs.

Keep reading... Show less
Featured

Something About A Dick In The Eye, Who Even Knows!

That's right, it's your moneybeg!

Hi Wonkers, how are you, we are fine! No, really, we are fine. Despite being ad-free and ENTIRELY reader-funded, we made payroll this month for our little mommyblog/independent news site with a cherry on top and EVERYTHING, and didn't even have to scream and weep and gnash at you! Of course, every month we put up our moneybeg and DON'T wail that we are going to the poorhouse to die of diphtheria, you fuckers are like "WELL, GUESS YOU'RE NOT DYING OF DIPHTHERIA THEN, GONNA JUST GO SPEND MY WONK MONEYS ON NEW SHOES FOR THE CAT."

I mean, do what you want. It's your cat.

But here is the thing, and it is a lovely thing: In just two weeks (!!!!1!!!!1eleven!!!!) Robyn and Stephen will be joining us full-time, and I am so excited I can barely stand it. We'll be able to pay them a proper living wage instead of an okay freelance one, and excellent healthcare, and we will have so many posts covering so much news, and we'll even be able to break off and do longterm projects and ... I don't know, one of these days we will do a podcast. I have never listened to one, because I don't have a "commute" or "do exercise," so NOT IT.

Keep reading... Show less
Featured

Sunday Bloody Mary Sunday

Easy breezy beautiful recipe hub!

Some time ago, on our way home to Montana from Mexico Winter Birthday Fun, we stopped over in Denver just in time for the ice blizzard, and they put us on the bad plane. Then they put us on the other bad plane. Then I made the executive decision we were taking a cab to the nicest hotel in Denver, whatever it might be. And it was.

The Oxford Hotel's attached restaurant, Urban Farmer, was extraordinary. More importantly, when we went back the next morning for the partly-comped breakfast, it had a Bloody Mary bar that stretched over probably eight feet of counter. I had never encountered such a thing! Candied ... bacon, you say? WHAT EVEN IS THAT? I am about to tell you. Having a Bloody Mary Bar brunch like the Urban Farmer did was my new #goals.

Keep reading... Show less
Education

Vice Calls Kamala A COP For ... Funding After-School Programs Till Workday's Done

The after-school special is inside the school!

Sen. Kamala Harris introduced a bill yesterday that would fund schools to experiment with making school schedules better meet the needs of working parents. Called the Family Friendly Schools Act, the proposal would relieve the child care burden for working families, which is considerable, as Mother Jones reporter Kara Vogt explains:

The majority of schools days end around 3 p.m., two hours before the end of 70 percent of parents' workdays. And most schools don't have a way to make up the difference. Fewer than half of all elementary schools—and fewer than a third of low-income schools—offer after-school care. Beyond that misalignment, schools shut down, on average, for 29 days during the school year, the majority of which are reserved for professional development, parent-teacher conferences, and myriad vacations and minor holidays the federal government doesn't recognize. That's a full two weeks' worth of days more than what the average American has in holidays, vacation, and paid leave combined.

On top of that, there's summer vacation, which was a fairly useful idea when America was mostly rural and kids were needed on the farm, but mostly leaves working parents desperate to find something to keep the kids safe and occupied for two or three months while they forget everything they learned. Thank Crom there's TV, video games, and friendly internet Nazis willing to keep the kids busy!

As a result, Vogt notes, during the school year, "3 percent of elementary-school students and 19 percent of middle-school students look after themselves from 3 to 6 p.m. on school nights," and parents who can afford to pay for after-school childcare shell out an average of $6,000 a year for it. (See also Vogt's longread on the problem at the Atlantic.)

Instead of solving the problem by blaming single moms for all social problems, Harris's bill would establish a five-year pilot program to fund grants of up to $5 million in 500 elementary schools that mostly serve low-income families. The schools, working with parents and community groups, would develop programs that would keep the schools open from 8:00 AM to 6:00 PM Monday through Friday during the school year, with no closures apart from federal holidays and emergencies. No school closures for in-service days or parent-teacher conferences; those would still go on, but the community partners would provide enrichment and activities for kids while they took place. And already overworked teachers won't simply be forced to work longer hours -- if they choose to, they'll be compensated for it.

Let's get out the washable markers and the butcher paper, spread out around the room, and take a look at how this would work, shall we?

Keep reading... Show less
Hot Mess

Sorry I Freaked Out At You Guys Last Night

This post is staying here till I can't stomach it a second longer. Scroll down for new ones!

Hey, remember last night, when I freaked out at you guys? Probably not, because I only left the comment up for about five minutes before I deleted it, too embarrassed at my WHINE and WHAAH and OUTBURST and PETULANCE and WAAH SOME MORE. But it was long enough for like 50 people to feel bad at the sulky shouty lady having a breakdown and SEND HER MONEY, for WONKETTE and LOVE. So thank you, 50 people, I will get to your thank you notes later, after ALL THE NEWS IN THE WORLD.

So let's talk about why I am having breakdowns, what we need, what I'm doing right, what I'm doing wrong, what I'm going to continue doing wrong because I can't help it, and what YOU need to do, because CITIZENSHIP.

First: I can't help hiring new people, all the time, like constantly. If I waited to do this until I had the money in the bank, we would never hire the people! And we neeeeed the people. Two more full-time staffers will allow our writers to take their time on SOME posts, SOMETIMES, like PROFESSIONALS; it'll allow us to have news for you in the morning instead of oh is it TEN THIRTY ALREADY AND I HAVE TO KILL EVAN NOW? Do you want me to kill Evan? OF COURSE YOU DON'T. Also, my therapist says I am impulsive and he is correct. But if my "impulsive" is limited to "hiring people you love and giving them fully funded healthcare so Elizabeth Warren can bone us," I'd say that "impulsive" is GOOD! :D

We'll be able to focus on all the things we're good at, and maybe SOME FUCKING DAY one of us will do a podcast, gross, ugh, how do you even listen to people YAMMERING ALL OF THE TIME. (Can you tell I don't have a "commute" or go to "gym"?)

Second: No, I'm not doing premium content for subscribers; everyone is equal at the Wonkette, and no animal is more equal than others. Second part B: I don't think ads are going to work. I had a brief vision of this ONE AD solving our problems and me not having to beg and whine at you, and ... it just won't. Not just because some of you mewled about that ONE AD which I'd WARNED YOU WAS COMING after TWO AD-FREE YEARS, and it HURT MY FEELINGS and MADE ME YELL AT YOU ... this is not a good apology.

Keep reading... Show less
Featured

Mommyblogging The Ben Folds And Cake Show, By Me, A Mommyblogger!

These are not the Cake we like!

I knew I was 46 years old when on the way down to the Cake show, we heard that song "Signs," and for the first time in my life, I thought, "maybe he put up a fence to keep you out and to keep Mother Nature in because a bunch of GODDAMN HIPPIES KEPT COMING IN AND TRASHING THE PLACE" and also, "WAIT, THIS WHOLE SONG IS BECAUSE HE HAS TO WEAR A SHIRT???? FUCKING 1960S MILLENNIALS!"

Sorry, Millennials, that might be the unfairest I have ever been to you, who would literally not be born for another decade-plus, and I'm a real dick to you guys sometimes!

Signs - The Five Man Electrical Band 1971 www.youtube.com

Keep reading... Show less
News

In The Matter Of Diamond And Silk's Very Real Lawyer v. Wonkette: Bring It, Sh*thead

YOU GUYS.

You guys. YOU GUYS.

Yr Wonkette received a cease and desist letter two nights ago. And it's from none other than our favorite black white nationalists (ALLEGEDLY), Gravel and Polyester. I mean Diamond and Silk. And I, A LAWYER, am just MANY EXCITE to tell you all about it.

Keep reading... Show less
News

We Have Met The Shitferbrains, And They Are Us; Or, The Monsters Are Due On Wonkette Street

A word from Yr friendly Neighborhood Comments Moderator.

One of the things I've always loved about Wonkette is the community to be found in the commentariat. You Terrible Ones are smart, brilliantly funny, and incredibly supportive of each other. But as anyone who's ever lived in a small town knows, one of the risks of a tight-knit community is insularity, a narrow-minded suspicion of those who are not Of The Body. And when a really big news story, Wednesday's Mueller hearings, drew new folks to comment on Evan's excellent livebloogs, a significant number of Wonkers reacted to some of the newcomers with paranoia and hostility, accusing them of being bots or Russian trolls and telling them to get the fuck out. While we don't have an explicit "Don't assume anyone you dislike is a Russian troll" line in our Comments Policy, maybe we need one.

Keep reading... Show less
Healthcare

How Are We Treating Women Shooting Small Aliens Out Of Their Vaginas Or Stomachs Today?

Canadian researchers studied the US. We probably did not surprise them eh.

A major nationwide study of women's experiences during pregnancy and childbirth finds that about one in six pregnant women experience some sort of mistreatment by healthcare professionals, and that women of color are much more likely to get yelled at or scolded. Other factors that lead to poor treatment include disagreeing with a doctor or midwife about the best course of treatment and having a partner who's black -- regardless of the woman's own race. While the study doesn't correlate the shabby treatment with actual maternal or infant health outcomes, it sure seems of a piece with last year's ProPublica/NPR series that reported on the appallingly high maternal death rate for black women, which is four times higher than mortality for white mothers. That public health crisis is finally getting attention from Congress, too.

The "Giving Voice to Mothers" study, focusing on "inequity and mistreatment during pregnancy and childbirth in the United States," was published in the journal Reproductive Health Tuesday, by a team of researchers led by Saraswathi Vedam, of the University of British Columbia in Vancouver, which would explain why the authors keep typing "women of colour." The team developed its questionnaire -- with input from patients -- using seven categories of mistreatment of pregnant women identified in a 2015 study by the World Health Organization. Of the 2,700 women surveyed, the researchers found:

Keep reading... Show less
News

'Elp! 'Elp! Wonkette Being Sued By This 40-Millionaire!

Small favors, at least it's not Peter Thiel.

Your Wonkette, despite many threats from bad and crazy people, has never actually been sued. Until today! According to Don Blankenship's lawyers, we have conspired with Mitch McConnell, Fox Judge Andrew Napolitano, and Don Trump Jr., along with possibly hundreds of other news outlets both progressive and reactionary, to defame and libel and false-light-invasion-of-privacy Mr. Blankenship because one time, by accident, after he lost his race for the Republican West Virginia gubernatorial primary, we mistakenly referred to him as a felon, instead of carefully noting (as we had a dozen times previously) that he was convicted and spent a year in jail for misdemeanor conspiracy leading to the deaths of 29 miners in his employ. I pride myself on carefully weighing Wonkette's terrible words and ensuring (with my 28 years in the news profession oh LORD I am forty-six years old) that everything we assert is both factual and fair. This was my fault as editor, nobody else's, no ifs ands or buts.

If I could, though, I'd blame President Obama, just as Blankenship's lawsuit blames him for those miners' deaths.

So while every month we ask you to keep this mommyblog going, because we are brought to you by YOU, and in fact at the end of every post we ask you to keep this mommyblog going, because we still are brought to you by YOU, today would be a really good day for the 390,000 or so of you monthly readers who don't already donate to Wonkette to throw some money in the kitty, and even, if you are able, to make it a recurring monthly donation!

Mama ain't got 40-millionaire-fightin' money! Mama barely has freelancer money! (Don't worry, we're not a common Trump: Our freelancers always get paid.) What's that? YOU want to send us money? You are good, and we love you.

While we of course believe Mr. Blankenship's lawsuit to be meritless -- even frivolous! -- we still have to reply. And SHIT we have to hire a lawyer to do so. There's no telling what a West Virginia judge and jury might do, and in the face of our first ever lawsuit -- and some online news media that no longer exist, along with Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas's humble, settled-law notion that it's time to open up the libel laws and abort the greatest constitutional protections afforded to journalists, the First Amendment as recognized under New York Times v. Sullivan -- we are trying not to feel a mite catastrophic.

Today would be a good day to do some yoga breathing. Today would be a bad day to attempt to get off our fattening ass. Hey, maybe you could send us some money?

If worse comes to worst and we lose Wonkette, we will start a new blog and name it something that doesn't confuse people and that we don't have to spell out slowly four times. (No, K-e-TT-e.) We just don't want to lose our house. It's extremely pleasant, near but not on a lake, and we just put in solar. Which has nothing to do with us trying to kill coal: We are America and so is black lung Don Blankenship.

This post will stay up top until I'm sick of looking at it. Scroll down for new news, as if there is ever even news these days, no everything is very boring and sane, all day every day, that is for sure.

Send money?

XOXO,

Wonkette

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Congress

This House Is GREEEEEN

We got our solar in. So our TV won't go out when the wind doesn't blow!!!!!

We don't know how to tell you this, but it's been kind of a non-suck week here at Wonkette HQ, and our feelings don't know what to do with that. We wrote two posts (now threeeee? someone call a doctor! something ain't right!), which I am pretty sure is illegal. We got new stickers in and they made us happy and also money. (Please buy more.) And thanks to, not kidding, the GOP Tax Cut for Rich Fuckwads, we got a brand shiny spanky did I mention shiny and also spanky solar array! The inspector came out yesterday, said, "SHORE, YUP, turn it on!" and then an hour later it started to rain.

REGARDLESS, depending on where you live (sorry Oklahoma), I think if you're able that you should too.

Did I say thanks to the GOP Tax Cut for Rich Fuckwads? I did. Somewhere on one of the hand-scrawled addenda as Paul Ryan was trying desperately to reduce the deficit lol I am #jokes, they put back in an alternative energy tax credit that had sunsetted in 2016. (And yes, it's the only good thing they did.) That's right: The feds will pay you back 30 percent of what you spend on solar, geothermal, or wind this year (then the credit starts dropping till it's only 10 percent in 2022, so do it now if you can!), even though Trump says windmills cause wind cancer, and his uncle was an MIT, so he knows science pretty terrific.

Keep reading... Show less
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc