Happy Independence Day from the world's last independent news website, we assume!
Working for the weekend? US TOO! And it's gonna be a peaceful easy one, just a top 10 and some sort of "holiday post" and then Robyn with a lazy Sunday. Which means this month's
moneybeg reminder that Wonkette is entirely reader-supported can sit up top for a nice long stretch if you get bored with your famblies and decide to check the Wonkette Dick Joke Emporium for half-off dick joke sales.
I didn't do a proper
moneybeg reminder that Wonkette is entirely reader-supported at you last month, because we got some stimmy and why hound you when everything is fine? You know I don't like to nag jk jk jk I DO.
But last month also saw a 20 percent drop in recurring donations, which for a news site mommyblog recipe hub that runs entirely on reader donations is worrisome indeed! And I know you like it better when I'm focusing on assigning, editing, accounting, HR, thank you notes, and watching that shithead like a hawk 12 hours a day so you don't have to than when I'm focusing on OH NO HOW WILL I PAY WONKETTE'S FIVE FULL-TIME STAFFERS AND FOUR OR FIVE PART-TIME AND/OR FREELANCE. That part sucks and no one likes it and it makes me yell at people and cry and drink a lot and nobody wants that and I haven't had to worry all year so don't make me start now.
But there are a million of you per month in these parts lately, and about 350,000 "core readers" who come here all the time, rain or shine, Facebook links or Facebook throttling, and of those there are about 4000 of you who donate your widow's mite or your rich fuckwad not-mite to Wonkette each month. And those 4000 people can't do it all, all the time, as witnessed by people having to cancel their vig. So I propose that if you are one of the 996,000 who aren't forking some canned clams over to us, and if you are at all able but just haven't felt like grabbing your credit card or your Paypal login, or thought "meh I will do it next time," or thought "fuck you Wonkette I hate you so much no I don't just kidding but also I like my money," well perhaps this could be the day you finally say "YES here is my credit card I LOVE YOU, NEVER DIE."
Again, if you are having economic hardship right now, this does not apply to you, so please don't feel bad even a tiny. You are perfect just as you are, and I'm so glad you're here!
But if you are a person who has an extra $5 or $20 or $1,000,000 a month, keep us in mind, here with our headlamps on our foreheads, excavating away in that fucker's ass, which believe it or not is not the most wholesome place to be. We do it for you, and also for us, because we care about informing, and being informed, and being super gross the whole time we're at it.
A million readers a month is more than the population of six states and the District of Columbia (separately, not together). Even our core 350,000 readers are about the same as the populations of the US Virgin Islands, Northern Mariana Islands, American Samoa, and Guam (together, not separately!). I think a population that size can keep a small, scrappy but professional as fuck news outlet swimming in bread and roses.
So BREAD AND ROSES US! Click how much you want to donate, whether it's once or recurring, and then whether you want to use Paypal or the credit card processor Stripe, because I feel like some people don't know they have to do that last step, like my mom thought she'd been sending us a regular $2 every time we made her laugh for ages when she hadn't. We love you.
(To get to the comments, click on the headline, because this is your OPEN THREAD.)
Who could it be? Believe it or not it's just me!
Put on your superhero masks, Saturday morning cat people and gardeners and daydrinkers, we've got a Top 10 chosen by a cabal of supervillains, and we're GOING IN!
Wowwwww. If you have any Daily Beast clicks left at all this month, use one on this: Dirty cop in Houston claimed George Floyd tried to sell him cocaine; Floyd did 10 months. Last year, the Houston DA sent a letter to Floyd's last-known address there (his late mother's home) explaining the cop had been arrested for setting up fake warrants — he was then charged with murder for the deaths of two people (and their fucking dog) in a raid he set up. The Houston DA wants to clear everyone he ever arrested. (Daily Beast)
Stole from Politico email thingie:
QUOTE OF THE DAY: "This day is picturesque. It would be a day to go jogging if you were Ahmaud Arbery. To ride a bike if you were Freddie Gray. To read a book if you were Keith Scott. To cash a check if you were Yvonne Smallwood. To rest if you were Breonna Taylor. To shop for auto parts if you were Walter Scott. To be 10 years old if you were Clifford Glover. To breathe if you were Eric Garner." Assemblywoman Sydney Kamlager before lawmakers knelt on the Capitol steps for eight minutes and 46 seconds to mark George Floyd's death.
Oh, of course it was pouring rain, how did I not know that automagically?
I want everyone to see and hear this incredible black woman sitting in the rain in Georgia with her son for 3 hours… https://t.co/rQ4BKnQrRj— Ayman Mohyeldin (@Ayman Mohyeldin)1591812276.0
Ways the quarantine might have changed us for the better. — Vox
Yes, coronavirus hospitalizations are rising "sharply." Sorry we've been neglecting it; there's been a fucking lot going on! (Washington Post)
For all of the days!
Quickest of updates before I dive in and roll around in this MASSIVE PILE OF BELATED THANK YOU NOTES like Scrooge McDuck swimming in ducats: You goddamn HEROES have contributed eighteen THOUSAND dollars in not quite a day to help your fellow Terrible Ones in need. That means, since we started just shy of two months ago, you've parted with seventy-seven THOUSAND dollars, of which we've distributed $67,425 to help 108 Wonkers and their families, and a few non-Wonkers, plus several more I'll get to in a moment, with rent or mortgage, food, health insurance, car payments, bills, and whatnots. Plus some treats!
Our gofundme is here. And if you could use some assistance, email rebecca at wonkette dot com and tell me how much you could use plus your paypal or venmo address. Don't make me write back to ask for it, it's really annoying.
The widget below is for our operating expenses, which you should always feel free to hit as long as your credit card's right there in your hand.
This is not your official open thread but feel free, it's fine. BONUS THREAD. Man, what don't we give you, am I right?