America's most mysterious animal-disease mad-scientist Military Laboratory, the secret fear factory known as Plum Island, is shutting down and moving to Kansas. Why would a highly secure (?) facility that studies livestock diseases on a remote isle move to the absolute center of the American livestock industry, where one loose spore of Manufactured Anthrax-AIDS-Cancer-Foot & Mouth disease could wipe out the nation's entire stock of cow anus parts used to make Fast Food Hamburgers? Ha ha, that question kind of answers itself, doesn't it? Plus, Long Island should not have the exclusive right to be terrified by the kinds of hybrid hell-beasts created by government scientists just for laffs.

The Associated Press reports:

The GAO said Plum Island scientists research such pathogens as foot-and-mouth disease, which is highly contagious to livestock and could cause "catastrophic economic losses" and imperil the nation's food supply.

"Other pathogens known to have been maintained at Plum Island could also cause illness and death in humans," the GAO said ....

U.S. Rep. Timothy Bishop, whose district includes Plum Island, is not convinced the move to Kansas is a good idea. He said in a letter to a House homeland security subcommittee this week that the sale of Plum Island could fetch $50 million to $80 million — not counting cleanup costs. Bishop said that would hardly cover the costs of building a new $650 million lab in Kansas.

It's a great idea, if you want to either kill off about 95% of Americans by poisoning their Extra Value Meals with weapons-grade Human Brucellosis-HIV. Look how well the Diabetes Epidemic is working, after government scientists began loading weapons-grade corn syrup into all packaged foods during the Reagan Administration.

But some say the plan may be more benevolent, perhaps part of Fitness Czar Michelle Obama's secret plot to get everybody off hamburgers and pig and other hamburger-and-pig-based food products, such as "Domino's Pizza" and "Slim Jims" and "Children's Tylenol."

Meanwhile, a monster as terrifying as Plum Island's infamous "Montauk Monster" has been discovered along a river in Canada. Canada! Remember when you libtards were all going to "move to Canada" if George W. Bush became president in 2000 and/or 2004? Yeah well our government set up monster labs already, under "Canadian" cover, so just smoke some more marijuana and leave another comment on HuffPo, about Ke$ha:

The Toronto Star reports:

Two Health Canada nurses training at the Kitchenuhmaykoosib Band reserve south of Hudson’s Bay said their dog Sam hauled out the 30-centimetre creature it found in early May floating face down near the causeway on the reserve, band spokesman Darryl Sainnawap told the Star.

The nurses themselves have been posted elsewhere, and staff at the nursing station won’t talk. “We work for the federal government,” said one. “We’re under a gag order.”

Sainnawap rejected speculation that it could be a man-made hybrid created for pictures.

“We don’t play God here.”

Sure you don't, Canada. Sure you don't. [The Star/Yahoo-AP]


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