UPDATE: Several readers have written in regarding the Federal No Ass-Fucking Amendment. First of all, to "Worried in Manhattan": Straight people can do it all they want. Your wife is wrong to use that excuse. And to "Stick-in-the-Mud in Seattle": You're right, the amendment will not literally prohibit the gays from getting in the rear; in a literal sense, it will just deny the benefits of marriage to the gays (some of whom practice the back-door love). But we suspect that what really makes the Bushies uncomfortable is ass-fucking. The idea of it, we mean.