MSNBC IS SO GAY RIGHT NOW, And Other News To Tide You Over Until The Polls Close
What up, America, you votin' so hard right now? Us too!
So we figured we'd just put up an open thread/liveblog of good stuff, bad stuff, fucked up stuff, funny stuff, because it ain't like there's any other breaking news besides OMG VOTING IS SO HOT RIGHT NOW.
As we made the decision to do this post, we were watching the MSNBC, like the common gay liberal we are, and we exclaimed "MSNBC IS SO GAY RIGHT NOW." Jonathan Capehart was on there talking about his husband who works for Senator Heidi Heitkamp's campaign and Josh Barro was sitting there like "Uh huh I am also too a gay leather daddy but I do not have a story about Heidi Heitkamp's campaign at the moment for I have failed at life," and host Craig Melvin was like "I am not gay but most of the other people in this building at any given time are, OH HEY LOOK AN UPDATE ON BETO!"
So that is your MSNBC status report.
Our next updates in this post will be less vapid, or maybe they won't, you can't tell us what to do.
11:34: Here is an awesome woman in Oklahoma who is a Republican and who voted straight Dem for the first time ever because she was super fuckin' grossed out by the Kavanaugh hearings. Thank you, awesome Oklahoma woman!
11:37: MSNBC has also been playing this video all morning of a badass Beto voter in Texas. She is your new Nana, and you are lucky for that.
Be this woman today. Grab your friends, grab your neighbors, grab your family. https://t.co/Kxk2e5pO7t— Jesse Lee (@Jesse Lee)1541521905.0
11:40: Beto voted! Hopefully the voting machine didn't "accidentally" change his vote to Ted Cruz!
Voted! Find your polling place at https://t.co/ckkFImqYz6 https://t.co/wEMMyDSKnQ— Beto O'Rourke (@Beto O'Rourke)1541515078.0
11:45: If you need a reminder of what we're fighting against, you should know that Trump seems to have convinced his followers he has TWO DICKS. This lady votes, y'all.
.@svdate went to a Trump rally and asked his supporters if they care whether he lies all the time. One woman’s resp… https://t.co/ktIWohtonV— Amanda Terkel (@Amanda Terkel)1541435752.0
11:49: Wonkette's official Niece has a question for you, about voting:
And Jacob Wohl has visited his imaginary hipster coffee shop and met some new imaginary friends:
That is just how it always is. It's also how people refer to gay people, as "LGBT couples."
12:10: So one of the big stories today is that lines are long EVERYWHERE. Some places, that's a good and normal thing, because they don't have early voting (Missouri and New York for instance, though New York is known for not having its shit together on a regular basis). Some places are having balls-out crazy turnout even though their early voting was balls-out crazy. We're hearing about this in Tennessee, where we live. Also, it's happening in Georgia, though SOME OF THE FUCKERY has to do with things like this:
Ready to wait? Hundreds of voters stand in line for hours this morning at this SW Atlanta polling place. Only three… https://t.co/reRvVnkYMV— Tom Regan (@Tom Regan)1541520092.0
Oh for God's sake. Can they be any more obvious? "Let's put just a couple voting machines in SW Atlanta, it'll be fiiiiiine." (SW Atlanta has a high African-American population, if you didn't know.)
12:20: For more on voter problems around the country, here is a thread from Ari Berman, who is monitoring all that:
Voting machines malfunctioning in Georgia's largest counties, leading to long lines at polls. Georgia is one of 5 s… https://t.co/7jMChhjitX— Ari Berman (@Ari Berman)1541521506.0
In short, shit is fucked up in Georgia, and if Brian Kemp ekes out a tiny little win there, now you know why. If everybody who's qualified to vote gets to vote, Brian Kemp loses. If he can suppress just enough voters, he wins. It's the GOP way!
12:24: And now, a public service announcement from your Editrix:
wonkette has never had a paywall, never will, takes no ads, and DOESNT DO PLEDGE DRIVES, just a post every month re… https://t.co/Xa7ntTVMXI— Master Rebecca Schoenkopf, Wonkette Editrix, King (@Master Rebecca Schoenkopf, Wonkette Editrix, King)1541524840.0
Oh look, a donation widget, for you to donate, right here in the post!
Back with another update when we wanna!
12:34: What's wrong with voting in Alabama? Oh, just MOIST BALLOTS.
& Just when you think you’ve heard of everything that can go wrong on election day, ballots in Madison County canno… https://t.co/NSHBwYBN6y— Joyce Alene (@Joyce Alene)1541525005.0
12:41: Jesus Christ, did Brian Kemp visit all the majority black precincts in Georgia last night and fuck up their voting machines? Read this whole thread.
.@RepHankJohnson told me this issue is happening in at least 4 precincts in Snellville. He blamed Brian Kemp and ca… https://t.co/1kPKPmPzrD— Kira Lerner (@Kira Lerner)1541524241.0
1:11: Do you know anybody in these states/districts who might need a nudge to the polls today? Do they like having healthcare? Jimmy Kimmel is here with a helpful list of people who voted to screw people with pre-existing conditions!
A handy list of candidates for Senate who voted to gut protections for people with pre-existing conditions. #vote https://t.co/Y6Jc8wkbXv— Jimmy Kimmel (@Jimmy Kimmel)1541450983.0
1:15: Big surprise, but shit is FUCKED in North Dakota and the GOP is doing everything it can to keep folks from voting:
Get help to those in North Dakota. This is shameful. https://t.co/mqayxb1VCu— Eric Holder (@Eric Holder)1541527770.0
1:21: If this doesn't get folks to the polls to vote against Republicans dunno what will ...
Sing with me now! Might be losing my voice and goofy but the HOLY SPIRIT IS AT WORK YALL! 🎵LORD I PRAY FOR A BIG… https://t.co/dxGENXWblN— Cjaye (@Cjaye)1541521138.0
1:32: Texas. Probably no big deal, bet there are no Beto voters in ARLINGTON.
An Arlington, Texas voting location didn't have enough paper ballots: A voter tells CNN that the electronic voting… https://t.co/bfHxhBC9m1— MJ Lee (@MJ Lee)1541523936.0
1:39: Some voting problems aren't about wet ballots but more like about WET FARTS.
Andy Richter persisted:
The man in front of me in this poll line just ripped a godawful fart but I remain undeterred #VOTE— Andy Richter (@Andy Richter)1541529126.0
1:44: Yes, there are some crazy voting problems happening, especially in Georgia. But maybe this tweet will make you feel better:
BREAKING from a top GA Dem monitoring vote suppression: "There are a lot of people voting and it's great to see. Ou… https://t.co/tktFQQMIXV— Michael Grunwald (@Michael Grunwald)1541529540.0
1:46: Ivanka Trump says please vote, does not specify that people should vote for Republicans. So DO LIKE IVANKA SAYS, DEMOCRAT PARTY!
VOTE, VOTE, VOTE! https://t.co/QnvGSTJzfn— Ivanka Trump (@Ivanka Trump)1541523458.0
1:55: Here is a fact about the Republican asshole running against Debbie Stabenow in Michigan.
Black Republican John James took campaign cash from white supremacists https://t.co/OLxe9zrDZd— Detroit Metro Times (@Detroit Metro Times)1541518200.0
2:14: No tweet or news item to share with you here, but from what we can see on MSNBC, voter turnout in Nashville is OFF THE CHAIN. And we've been hearing the same from our friends in Memphis, and we are not hearing about voting maching fuckery or anything like that.
This is good news for
John McCain Phil Bredesen.
2:27: These morons, because they don't believe women, STILL do not get that we REALLY, TRULY BELIEVE THE WOMEN. As in we REALLY, TRULY BELIEVE THAT BRETT KAVANAUGH TRIED TO RAPE OR OTHERWISE SEXUALLY ASSAULT OR HARASS THOSE WOMEN.
Really! We do!
And we're going to say so every time he writes a ruling or otherwise appears in public! And we're going to tell our kids to stay away from him!
"Trump's use of the presidency to personally attack his opponents and our institutions cannot stand!" "So let me v… https://t.co/IRmo3iALpH— Steve Deace (@Steve Deace)1541532174.0
2:41: In case you were wondering, voting in Georgia is still fucked up.
"Georgia 2018 is a model of what an election should look like." --John Roberts https://t.co/6CberMIaNg— Scott Lemieux (@Scott Lemieux)1541532818.0
2:45: Also speaking of Georgia, hey look, it is Jon Ossoff on the MSNBC, talking about Lucy McBath's hopes to beat that asshole Karen Handel who beat him last year!
3:00: Steve King says you're not invited to his election night No Gays Allowed Nazi party and neither is the newspaper. Aren't you sad?
.@SteveKingIA rebuffed the Des Moines Register's request for credentials to his election night event, saying it and… https://t.co/IEKjEjqKKS— Des Moines Register (@Des Moines Register)1541529252.0
3:09: One final tweet for this thread, we think, before we take a big break and then come back to liveblog you when the first polls close at 6 PM ET in parts of Kentucky and Indiana.
OK, come back later, y'all!
Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT NOW, DO IT RIGHT NOW!
Wonkette is the ONLY NEWS ON THE INTERNET. Please give us money RIGHT THERE BELOW if you want us to live FOREVER.