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What up, America, you votin' so hard right now? Us too!

So we figured we'd just put up an open thread/liveblog of good stuff, bad stuff, fucked up stuff, funny stuff, because it ain't like there's any other breaking news besides OMG VOTING IS SO HOT RIGHT NOW.

As we made the decision to do this post, we were watching the MSNBC, like the common gay liberal we are, and we exclaimed "MSNBC IS SO GAY RIGHT NOW." Jonathan Capehart was on there talking about his husband who works for Senator Heidi Heitkamp's campaign and Josh Barro was sitting there like "Uh huh I am also too a gay leather daddy but I do not have a story about Heidi Heitkamp's campaign at the moment for I have failed at life," and host Craig Melvin was like "I am not gay but most of the other people in this building at any given time are, OH HEY LOOK AN UPDATE ON BETO!"

So that is your MSNBC status report.

Our next updates in this post will be less vapid, or maybe they won't, you can't tell us what to do.


11:34: Here is an awesome woman in Oklahoma who is a Republican and who voted straight Dem for the first time ever because she was super fuckin' grossed out by the Kavanaugh hearings. Thank you, awesome Oklahoma woman!

11:37: MSNBC has also been playing this video all morning of a badass Beto voter in Texas. She is your new Nana, and you are lucky for that.

11:40: Beto voted! Hopefully the voting machine didn't "accidentally" change his vote to Ted Cruz!

11:45: If you need a reminder of what we're fighting against, you should know that Trump seems to have convinced his followers he has TWO DICKS. This lady votes, y'all.

11:49: Wonkette's official Niece has a question for you, about voting:

And Jacob Wohl has visited his imaginary hipster coffee shop and met some new imaginary friends:

That is just how it always is. It's also how people refer to gay people, as "LGBT couples."

12:10: So one of the big stories today is that lines are long EVERYWHERE. Some places, that's a good and normal thing, because they don't have early voting (Missouri and New York for instance, though New York is known for not having its shit together on a regular basis). Some places are having balls-out crazy turnout even though their early voting was balls-out crazy. We're hearing about this in Tennessee, where we live. Also, it's happening in Georgia, though SOME OF THE FUCKERY has to do with things like this:

Oh for God's sake. Can they be any more obvious? "Let's put just a couple voting machines in SW Atlanta, it'll be fiiiiiine." (SW Atlanta has a high African-American population, if you didn't know.)

12:20: For more on voter problems around the country, here is a thread from Ari Berman, who is monitoring all that:

In short, shit is fucked up in Georgia, and if Brian Kemp ekes out a tiny little win there, now you know why. If everybody who's qualified to vote gets to vote, Brian Kemp loses. If he can suppress just enough voters, he wins. It's the GOP way!

12:24: And now, a public service announcement from your Editrix:

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Back with another update when we wanna!

12:34: What's wrong with voting in Alabama? Oh, just MOIST BALLOTS.

12:41: Jesus Christ, did Brian Kemp visit all the majority black precincts in Georgia last night and fuck up their voting machines? Read this whole thread.

1:11: Do you know anybody in these states/districts who might need a nudge to the polls today? Do they like having healthcare? Jimmy Kimmel is here with a helpful list of people who voted to screw people with pre-existing conditions!

1:15: Big surprise, but shit is FUCKED in North Dakota and the GOP is doing everything it can to keep folks from voting:


1:21: If this doesn't get folks to the polls to vote against Republicans dunno what will ...

1:32: Texas. Probably no big deal, bet there are no Beto voters in ARLINGTON.

1:39: Some voting problems aren't about wet ballots but more like about WET FARTS.

Andy Richter persisted:

1:44: Yes, there are some crazy voting problems happening, especially in Georgia. But maybe this tweet will make you feel better:

1:46: Ivanka Trump says please vote, does not specify that people should vote for Republicans. So DO LIKE IVANKA SAYS, DEMOCRAT PARTY!

1:55: Here is a fact about the Republican asshole running against Debbie Stabenow in Michigan.

2:14: No tweet or news item to share with you here, but from what we can see on MSNBC, voter turnout in Nashville is OFF THE CHAIN. And we've been hearing the same from our friends in Memphis, and we are not hearing about voting maching fuckery or anything like that.

This is good news for John McCain Phil Bredesen.

2:27: These morons, because they don't believe women, STILL do not get that we REALLY, TRULY BELIEVE THE WOMEN. As in we REALLY, TRULY BELIEVE THAT BRETT KAVANAUGH TRIED TO RAPE OR OTHERWISE SEXUALLY ASSAULT OR HARASS THOSE WOMEN.

Really! We do!

And we're going to say so every time he writes a ruling or otherwise appears in public! And we're going to tell our kids to stay away from him!

REALLY!

2:41: In case you were wondering, voting in Georgia is still fucked up.

2:45: Also speaking of Georgia, hey look, it is Jon Ossoff on the MSNBC, talking about Lucy McBath's hopes to beat that asshole Karen Handel who beat him last year!

3:00: Steve King says you're not invited to his election night No Gays Allowed Nazi party and neither is the newspaper. Aren't you sad?

3:09: One final tweet for this thread, we think, before we take a big break and then come back to liveblog you when the first polls close at 6 PM ET in parts of Kentucky and Indiana.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

No.

OK, come back later, y'all!

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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