MyPillow Guy Collaborates With Holy Spirit On 3-Hour Film About How Trump Actually Won
MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell, who definitely isn't doing any amphetamines these days, is releasing a three-hour documentary today called Absolute Proof, which he claims will offer "Absolute Proof" that Donald Trump actually won the election. So much proof that when he walks in to his impeachment trial, everyone will stand up and apologize to him and then probably do a slow clap of some kind.
Speaking to "The Revival Channel" on YouTube on Thursday, Lindell explained that he made the film in five days while "holed up with people guarding me and people brought in from all over this country. We sat in a room and put this together," and that it proves without a doubt that China stole the election in hopes of turning America into a communist nation. This seems especially hilarious in light of what's going on with the stimulus bill debate, but that is only because, unlike MyPillow Guy Mike Lindell, we actually do know what communism is. We also know what socialism is, what capitalism is, and what a mixed economy is.
Lindell explained that he and the 12 other people who made the documentary pretty much just powered through on only three hours of sleep a night, and managed to get a lot of stuff done in one take because the Holy Spirit was telling them what to do. Apparently the Holy Spirit is just a really skilled assistant director (though not a very skilled editor, because three hours).
According to Lindell, there were two main miracles that God did to make it clear that the election was stolen, the first one being that he made it all super obvious to very smart people like the MyPillow Guy:
On election night, at 11:15 on election night, these algorithms in these machines were set for Donald Trump to get about, they figured he'd get around 70 million votes. Well he got so many because everybody voted for him. He got close to 80 million. As these votes are rolling in, the algorithms broke, and what I mean by that is they had to stop, because you know what? He was gonna win the election anyway, in spite of all the steal, right?
Now I wanna tell you this. So the states then, what did they have to do? They all stopped at the exact same time and they had to recalibrate.
He goes on to explain that if that hadn't "happened," no one would have realized "they" stole the election and would have gracefully accepted the loss and moved on. But it did. Well, it didn't, but he thinks it did. The other miracle is that all of the states have lists of all the non-residents, dead people, minors who they let vote — along with all the people who "double voted" — "and if you add them all up ... Donald Trump wins every state."
And he is going to prove that in his three-hour documentary, co-directed by the Holy Spirit.
The host at the Revival Channel asked Lindell to let their viewers know exactly what kind of hope they have of this making a difference and Trump getting to be president again, noting that "prophecy" tells them that he is supposed to serve two terms. Lindell said that it's partly in their hands and they need to do everything they can to get everyone to watch this documentary, because everyone who sees it — even godless liberal heathens — will have to accept that the election was stolen from Donald Trump. Which it wasn't.
He also notes that one of the happy side-effects of this election being stolen from Trump is that many of the secular heathens are starting to wake up and realize that Christianity is the way and we need this to be a Christian nation — a theory there is exactly as much evidence for as there is evidence that the election was stolen.
Lindell also explains, at a mile a minute, that this is still a win-win situation for true Christians. Because either they get word of this documentary out and everyone around the whole world sees it and rejoices and everything is restored and Donald Trump gets to be president (he's not clear on how this happens with the Supreme Court though, because there's no precedent), or — or — the world ends and they get to all be raptured up and be with God. One of those two things will definitely happen.
If it goes the other way it's the End Times, get on your knees, surrender to Jesus and you're goin' to heaven! Either way you win!
Neither of those things is going to happen.
Absolute Proof, Lindell says, will be shown in marathon form on OAN today — and then OAN went and put a disclaimer on the documentary saying that Lindell purchased the air time himself and is solely responsible for all reporting.
MyPillow guy Mike Lindell’s big lie special on OAN begins with an epic disclaimer https://t.co/3nsoAznOUU— Aaron Rupar (@Aaron Rupar) 1612539058.0
"Mr. Lindell is the sole author and executive producer of this program and is solely and exclusively responsible for its content," the disclaimer states, noting that "the statements and claims expressed in this program are presented at this time as opinions only and are not intended to be taken or interpreted by the viewer as established facts."
That seems about right.
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Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse