Nation Stunned by Anti-Polk Vandalism
Columbia, Tennessee was the scene of a shocking, inconceivable attack on the memory of America's most beloved pre-Civil War mullet-sporting President this week. The home of President James Knox Polk, the man who secured the Oregon Territory, caused and ended the Mexican-American war, and personally found gold in the Yukon or California or something, was vandalized by dangerous criminals. And it wasn't the first time they've targeted Polk.
In 2001, two teenagers broke into the 1842 St. John's Episcopal Church, where Polk's family members had worshiped and are buried, and did $45,000 in damage, including breaking out leaded glass windows, toppling tombstones and throwing the 450-pound pump organ from the choir loft down to the first floor.
The vandals may or may not be Mexicans still bitter about that whole California/Nevada/New Mexico/Arizona/Utah thing. Though probably not.
The scrawled words "Glue" and "Meat" still confound investigators, but some suggest they may be coded references to Henry Clay, with "glue" referring to his ability to bring together disparate factions with The Great Compromise, and "meat" referring to the fact that he was a fine piece of ass.