National Enquirer: Willow Palin Had a 'PREGNANCY SHOCKER'
Is Willow Palin about to have a baby? TheNational Enquirer says she recently "missed her period" (gah, your editor quits, again) and took a pregnancy test. Can we trust the Enquirer? How exactly do they keep track of this sixteen-year-old's ovulation cycle? Sure, we could trust them if they said John Edwards got her pregnant, although they don't appear to be saying that. (Yet.) But if you stop to think about it, this story makes sense. Bristol became a well-paid public speaker and teevee reality show contestant because she had a teenage pregnancy, so perhaps Willow, like every teen in this situation, is making a smart entrepreneurial move, one that began with her attention-grabbing Facebook comments a few days back. But perhaps this is a risky attempt to overshadow Bristol: The Enquirer seems to suggest she had an abortion.
Because that's the only part of this that could "derail Sarah's presidential run," as the Enquirer puts it, right?
The former Alaska governor recently flipped out after learning that her 16-year-old daughter Willow was not only having sex, but feared she might be pregnant by her 18-year-old boyfriend, sources told The ENQUIRER. [...]
According to the source, Willow began to panic when her period was a week late.
"She went out and bought a home pregnancy test and was on pins and needles," divulged the source.
Pins and needles? That sounds painful. Apparently they don't have modern pregnancy tests up there in Alaska.
Certainly, as it comes from the august Enquirer, the journalism here is sound. It's really admirable that, despite filing for bankruptcy today, they're still doing the important reporting America needs, even if it is a bit boring. [National Enquirer via Wonkette operative "Eric S."]