These are the burning questions of our time.
Have you been following the twisting tale of Rudy Giuliani going back to his hotel room with the lady he thought was a young pretty reporter who wanted to see his Little Rudy, but just as it appeared things were about to go down, Borat ran into the room like "PUT DOWN YOUR CHRAM" and shouted that she was 15 and therefore too old for him?
HERE COME THE EXCUSES.
(1) The Borat video is a complete fabrication. I was tucking in my shirt after taking off the recording equipment.… https://t.co/F6blogHGQf— Rudy W. Giuliani (@Rudy W. Giuliani)1603316544.0
HE WAS JUST TUCKING IN HIS SHIRT, YOU GUYS.
We’d expect nothing less.
Mitt Romney, the supposed “conscience" of the GOP, confirmed Wednesday that he's already voted for president and that lucky ducky recipient of his vote was not Donald Trump.
But if Romney didn't vote for Trump, did he valiantly cross party lines and back Joe Biden, the Democratic nominee who's the only serious option for defeating the orange horror?
According to CNN, when asked his presidential pick, Romney said, "That's something I'm keeping private at this stage."
Mitt Romney's not a private citizen or a private dancer. He's a US senator. He has a duty, an obligation, to lead. It's not enough to refuse to vote for Trump. That's a stand Romney already took, when he didn't hold a public office and candidate Trump was still a punchline and not an existential threat to our democracy. Trump is literally president now, and more than 220,000 Americans have needlessly died on his watch.
That'll teach newborns to respect law enforcement.
Excellent news, everybody! Donald Trump is gearing up to rescue American cities from the grip of anarchy, or at least punish four cities with Democratic leadership for not respecting his authoriteh. His administration is poised to make the cities cry Uncle Sam by chopping funds for a whole bunch of healthcare programs, because nothing teaches unruly cities to behave like "slashing millions of dollars for coronavirus relief, HIV treatment, screenings for newborns and other programs," as Politico reports. It probably isn't legal, and it's a transparent abuse of government power to make Trump look like he's beating up on those terrible Democrat cities that aren't stopping the riots that burn them to the ground every night, so obviously it's worth doing to keep Trump voters happy.
Trigger warning for Rudy Giuliani's 'trigger.'
Rudy Giuliani: How many successes can one man have in a week?
Rudy has been caught on tape, not with a Russian spy (this time), but with Borat's "daughter" Tutar, and ... well, thank goodness he didn't masturbate on Zoom or anything, but ...
OK, so in the new movie Borat: Subsequent Moviefilm, which comes out Friday on Amazon Prime, the character who plays "Tutar" is pretending to be a conservative journalist, and she gets Rudy to do an interview with her. The Daily Beast's description is very colorful, so we will use it: