Sex
Does Rudy Giuliani Also Pull His Pants Down All The Way To Pee?
These are the burning questions of our time.
October 22, 2020 09:36 AM
Have you been following the twisting tale of Rudy Giuliani going back to his hotel room with the lady he thought was a young pretty reporter who wanted to see his Little Rudy, but just as it appeared things were about to go down, Borat ran into the room like "PUT DOWN YOUR CHRAM" and shouted that she was 15 and therefore too old for him?
HERE COME THE EXCUSES.
(1) The Borat video is a complete fabrication. I was tucking in my shirt after taking off the recording equipment.… https://t.co/F6blogHGQf— Rudy W. Giuliani (@Rudy W. Giuliani)1603316544.0
HE WAS JUST TUCKING IN HIS SHIRT, YOU GUYS.
<p>You know how it is when your shirt is untucked. You lie down all the way on the bed after putting your hand on the lady reporter's butt (at least according to reports we've read of the scene in the moviefilm, we haven't seen it), instead of going into the nice bathroom the hotel lovingly provided for you in your suite, and that's how you tuck in your shirt.</p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDU1ODkxOC9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0MjQ5MDc1OX0.ZwQLxdei0OaVs15jJd3XtbGvwBYZx9YRCqXUk5T5Ov8/img.jpg?width=980" id="62196" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="f2eaed7b2e23e9765a25b66819a02390" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image">
</p><p>Rudy continued making excuses in yet another interview with the <a href="https://www.thedailybeast.com/rudy-giuliani-claims-borat-hit-job-is-retaliation-for-hunter-biden-attack?scrolla=5eb6d68b7fedc32c19ef33b4" target="_blank">Daily Beast:</a></p><blockquote>"I had to take off the electronic equipment," Giuliani said in a radio interview on Wednesday. "And when the electronic equipment came off, some of it was in the back and my shirt came a little out, although my clothes were entirely on. I leaned back, and I tucked my shirt in, and at that point, at that point, they have this picture they take which looks doctored, but in any event, I'm tucking my shirt in. I assure you that's all I was doing."</blockquote><p>Had to take off the electronic equipment <em>to do what</em>, Rudy? Because according to reports, the scene shows you with your hand on the lady's butt and asking for her number. Were you taking off the equipment and then tucking in your shirt, hoping to at some point show the lady your <em>chram</em>? </p><p>Oh maybe he had to take off his equipment and lie down on the bed and dramatically re-tuck in his shirt for PRAYING purposes, maybe that was it:</p><blockquote>"At one point she explained to me some problems she had. I actually prayed with her," he said. "And then I had to leave. I had my jacket on. I was fully clothed at all times."</blockquote><p>Well yeah, because Borat busted into the room and told him to put down his dick and that the lady was 15 and therefore too old for him, after which Borat chased him down the hall and castigated him for leaving the hotel without getting a golden shower, which would disappoint his boss Donald Trump. </p><p>All of this leads us to ask: If that is indeed how Rudy Giuliani tucks in shirts — for praying purposes, obviously — is he also one of those people who, when he goes to the bathroom, even in public, pulls his pants all the way down around his ankles so he can pee, even if he's at a urinal at a Yankees game? Is that how Rudy Giuliani pees?</p><p>And after he finishes, does he go find the nearest bed so he can lie all the way down and tuck his shirt in, using the nearest lady's butt, <em>for balance, of course</em>?</p><p>Does he do this even when he's in Ukraine meeting with politicians who have been assessed to have ties to the Kremlin to get fake dirt on Hunter Biden, <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/rudy-giuliani-is-in-ukraine-right-now-sure-why-not" target="_blank">at the exact same</a> as Donald Trump is being impeached for trying to extort the Ukrainian president for fake dirt on Hunter Biden? Are his Russian spy sources like "Rudy what are you DOING? Put down your <em>chram</em>!" but then Rudy is like "NO DON'T WORRY, I'M JUST TUCKING IN MY SHIRT"?</p><p>We are just curious. </p><p>Roodles the Clown from Clown Town continued:</p><div id="c107e" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="50d06dd029cac40584e080a7011a9224"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1319031308547481600" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">(3) This is an effort to blunt my relentless exposure of the criminality and depravity of Joe Biden and his entire… https://t.co/yBNMULnsjb</div> — Rudy W. Giuliani (@Rudy W. Giuliani)<a href="https://twitter.com/RudyGiuliani/statuses/1319031308547481600">1603316545.0</a></blockquote></div><p>Oh definitely, we are just pretty sure the Deep State is colluding on a witch hunt with its most vital asset, Sacha Baron Cohen, to take down the great amateur detective Rudy Giuliani, in order to protect the Ukrainian laptop secrets of Hunter Biden. That has to be it. </p><p>More from the Daily Beast:</p><blockquote>"Now let me tell you why I know this is a hit job that happens because, it's not an accident that it happens that I turn in all this evidence on their prince and darling Joe Biden, who's one of the biggest crooks in the last thirty years, and since I have the courage to say that, I'm the target," he continued ... </blockquote><p>Oh Rudy, PUT DOWN YOUR <em>CHRAM</em>, and by that we mean he really needs to stop jerking himself off to this fake-ass story Russian spies gave him about Joe Biden and laptops and whatnot. </p><p>Anyway, it's almost as if he thinks we're not going to see this video for ourselves. Tomorrow on Amazon Prime, to be specific.</p><p>So you know what you're doing Friday night!</p><p>Send young children out of the room when the Rudy scene happens, because NSFW, <em>allegedly</em>.</p><p>[<a href="https://www.thedailybeast.com/rudy-giuliani-claims-borat-hit-job-is-retaliation-for-hunter-biden-attack?scrolla=5eb6d68b7fedc32c19ef33b4" target="_blank">The Daily Beast</a>]</p><p><strong>Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter <a href="http://twitter.com/evanhurst" target="_blank">RIGHT HERE, DO IT RIGHT HERE!</a><br></strong></p><p><strong>GIVE IT WONKETTE. We mean money. Thank you.</strong></p><p><span style="background-color: initial;"></span></p><p><a href="https://amzn.to/33mKzZe" target="_blank">Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons</a>.</p><p></p><p></p><form name="donation" method="post" class="donation-form"><p class="subheadline">How often would you like to donate?</p><div class="form-row row--plan"><label class="plan-type__label"><input type="radio" name="plan_type" value="once" class="plan-type" required="" checked> Just once
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2020 presidential election
American Hero Mitt Romney Bravely Casts Presidential Vote For Nunya Business
We’d expect nothing less.
October 22, 2020 09:20 AM
Mitt Romney, the supposed “conscience" of the GOP, confirmed Wednesday that he's already voted for president and that lucky ducky recipient of his vote was not Donald Trump.
But if Romney didn't vote for Trump, did he valiantly cross party lines and back Joe Biden, the Democratic nominee who's the only serious option for defeating the orange horror?
According to CNN, when asked his presidential pick, Romney said, "That's something I'm keeping private at this stage."
Mitt Romney's not a private citizen or a private dancer. He's a US senator. He has a duty, an obligation, to lead. It's not enough to refuse to vote for Trump. That's a stand Romney already took, when he didn't hold a public office and candidate Trump was still a punchline and not an existential threat to our democracy. Trump is literally president now, and more than 220,000 Americans have needlessly died on his watch.
<div id="42c23" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="8c1dd498b6d995e29a23c9a21e8a1ce9"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1318973193777020935" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">Mitt Rommey told me he already voted in the elections but he wouldn’t say if he voted for Joe Biden or wrote someon… https://t.co/YNuJ1oJbsU</div> — Manu Raju (@Manu Raju)<a href="https://twitter.com/mkraju/statuses/1318973193777020935">1603302689.0</a></blockquote></div><p>What's the deal, Senator? Are you afraid of the big, bad Trump? No, that's not it. Romney's not afraid of what a second Trump administration would mean to this country, especially to the marginalized. Trump's embarrassing, even personally repulsive to Romney, but his rightwing policies don't keep the senator up at night.</p><p>Romney is still a Republican. Sure, during Trump's impeachment trial, Romney cast the sole Republican vote against him, but not even a year later, he'll vote to confirm Trump's eleventh-hour Supreme Court nominee. Imagine what might've happened if Romney confronted Mitch McConnell and said he wouldn't vote for any more of Trump's judges, forcing McConnell's hand and pressuring him to ditch Trump. Maybe that's too "House of Cards," but it's not not even single-dimensional chess to publicly announce now that he's supporting Biden.</p><p>No Senate seats from Utah are up for election this year. Actively working to deny Trump the state's six electoral votes wouldn't threaten the balance of power. </p><p>Utah native Evan McMullin, the supposed “independent conservative" candidate in 2016, realized this year that actually stopping Trump means supporting the Democrat. He endorsed Biden a few months ago. But there are still several other cowards who won't make a responsible choice.<br></p><p>Republican Gov. Charlie Baker of Massachusetts and Phil Scott of Vermont announced they aren't voting for Trump, but they won't say who they chose instead. Maybe it was their aunts. </p><p>Maryland Gov. Larry Hogan wrote in former President Ronald Reagan instead of Trump. Reagan has been dead for 16 years and <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/world/2011/jan/17/ronald-reagan-alzheimers-president-son" target="_blank">was mentally unsound</a> for significantly longer. Hogan seems to grasp Reagan's weaknesses as a candidate in 2020, but he told <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/md-politics/hogan-reagan-vote-backlash/2020/10/20/d8fafc34-1233-11eb-ba42-ec6a580836ed_story.html" target="_blank">the </a><a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/md-politics/hogan-reagan-vote-backlash/2020/10/20/d8fafc34-1233-11eb-ba42-ec6a580836ed_story.html" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"><em>Washington Post</em></a> that his "long-dead political idol represents the type of Republican he would like to see in office." If Hogan's ideal Republican<a href="https://www.wonkette.com/breaking-ronald-reagan-just-as-racist-as-we-always-knew-he-was" target="_blank"> is a racist</a> who'll ignore a deadly virus ravaging the nation because it's killing people who don't matter to him, he should give Trump a second look.<a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/md-politics/hogan-reagan-vote-backlash/2020/10/20/d8fafc34-1233-11eb-ba42-ec6a580836ed_story.html" target="_blank"></a></p><p>It's naive to assume Trump will just go away if he loses in November. He's still absurdly popular with a vocal and nasty segment of the GOP electorate. We can imagine Trump continuing his Klan bake rallies, free of the burden of pretending to govern. He'll make life miserable for the Republicans who stood against him, and while that sounds fun, like the end of an old monster movie where Frankenstein's creature and the Wolfman fight in a burning castle, it also explains why some anti-Trump Republicans aren't taking a real stand.</p><p>But Romney could. He's not up for reelection until 2024, when he'll be 77. He's probably saved enough to retire comfortably. Instead, he's joining the other gutless cowards. I can't say I'm surprised. </p><p>[<a href="https://www.cnn.com/2020/10/21/politics/mitt-romney-trump-vote/index.html" target="_blank">CNN</a>]</p><p><em>Follow Stephen Robinson on </em><em><a href="https://twitter.com/SER1897" target="_blank">Twitter.</a></em></p><p><a href="https://amzn.to/33mKzZe" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons</a>.</p><p><strong>Yr Wonkette is 100 percent ad free and supported entirely by reader donations. Please click the clickie, if you are able!</strong></p><p></p><form name="donation" method="post" class="donation-form"><p class="subheadline">How often would you like to donate?</p><div class="form-row row--plan"><label class="plan-type__label"><input type="radio" name="plan_type" value="once" class="plan-type" required="" checked> Just once
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White House
Trump Gonna End 'Anarchy' By Cutting Health Care During Pandemic. Take That, Antifa!
That'll teach newborns to respect law enforcement.
October 22, 2020 08:58 AM
Excellent news, everybody! Donald Trump is gearing up to rescue American cities from the grip of anarchy, or at least punish four cities with Democratic leadership for not respecting his authoriteh. His administration is poised to make the cities cry Uncle Sam by chopping funds for a whole bunch of healthcare programs, because nothing teaches unruly cities to behave like "slashing millions of dollars for coronavirus relief, HIV treatment, screenings for newborns and other programs," as Politico reports. It probably isn't legal, and it's a transparent abuse of government power to make Trump look like he's beating up on those terrible Democrat cities that aren't stopping the riots that burn them to the ground every night, so obviously it's worth doing to keep Trump voters happy.
<p>Back in September, Donald Trump vowed he would cut federal funding to what he considered "anarchist cities," and he even issued an <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/trump-barfs-out-meaningless-order-to-defund-anarchist-cities-blahblahblah" target="_blank">executive order of dubious legality</a> (but aren't they all?) proclaiming that cities that insufficiently loved their local cops would have funding for non-law-enforcement programs cut. As Wonkette's Liz Dye <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/trump-barfs-out-meaningless-order-to-defund-anarchist-cities-blahblahblah" target="_blank">'splained at the time,</a> it's almost certainly unconstitutional bullshit, but federal agencies are going along with it, at least until the White House actually tries to make the cuts and the lawsuits start flying. (And with the Trump-McConnell judiciary, Crom only knows what crazy shit might end up being approved.) </p><p>As part of the early going, Attorney General Bill Barr dutifully <a href="https://www.politico.com/news/2020/10/20/white-house-cuts-city-funds-coronavirus-430498" target="_blank">declared </a>three cities, New York City, Seattle, and Portland, Oregon, to be "anarchist jurisdictions," and the White House budget office added Washington DC to the list. Federal agencies were instructed to compile lists of federal grants going to the four cities, identifying whether any of the spending support law enforcement activities. Those are the only grants supposedly exempt from possible cuts. Federal departments have until Friday to submit the lists to the Office of Management and Budget, which will make the final decisions about what gets cut.</p><p>HHS's own list, which made its way to Politico somehow, includes some 1,500 grants that have gone to the four cities since 2018, and it includes a whole bunch of stuff that these damned anarchist cities clearly don't deserve:<br></p><blockquote>The list includes 185 programs that touch on everything from Trump's own initiative to end HIV transmission by the end of the decade to the opioid crisis and research into lung diseases. The list also includes funding for other programs, like $423,000 for universal hearing screenings for newborns in the District of Columbia, housing for people in addiction recovery in Seattle, and services providing nutrition and mental health counseling to elderly New Yorkers. [...]</blockquote><p>Truly, Anarchist babies must not be allowed to get hearing screenings, not in Trump's America. Only six of the grant programs were flagged by HHS as being connected to law enforcement, so the rest can be targeted for cuts, to encourage Democratic mayors to get with the program and bust some heads like Donald Trump wants. </p><p>In Normal America, when Congress appropriates funds and grants are made by federal agencies, the<a href="https://www.wonkette.com/trump-barfs-out-meaningless-order-to-defund-anarchist-cities-blahblahblah" target="_blank"> White House doesn't get to swoop in</a> and say "but not for these places where I have a political grudge," but Normal America has been on hold for a while. </p><p>While the White House has said the information was needed to decide about how to punish anarchist cities (again, not a real thing) in the future, a "senior administration official" told Politico that current funding might be on the chopping block, too. <br></p><blockquote>"As the data comes in, OMB will collect it and make a decision," said the official, who requested anonymity. The review is in the preliminary stages, and the official said the administration will make decisions about each grant individually. <br><br>We need to review the information with agencies before we know," according to the official. "Grant programs all have different authorities so it's going to be case by case."</blockquote><p>Not surprisingly, Politico notes, leaders in New York and Seattle have already said that if this idiocy continues to the point that there's an actual attempt to block funds, they'll go to federal court. The US Conference of Mayors has similarly promised legal action if Trump drops the OMB on American cities.</p><p>And the expected crowd of experts on public health and good government, always a pesky lot, have chimed in to say it's a terrible idea to threaten to cut health funds to cities during a freaking pandemic, which just shows how useless experts are. What good is "public health" in cities that won't even shoot rioters to prove that there's no problem with police violence? </p><p>While the process of reviewing hundreds of grant programs to the four cities continues to grind its way through the federal government, Politico didn't say whether Donald Trump still has any particular interest in the thing he ordered over a month ago, or even remembers that he said it was a top priority. He's far more interested these days in "Hunter Biden's" laptop computer. </p><p>[<a href="https://www.politico.com/news/2020/10/20/white-house-cuts-city-funds-coronavirus-430498" target="_blank">Politico</a>]</p><p>Yr Wonkette is funded entirely by reader donations. Help us keep staring in wide-eyed disbelief at all this madness with a contribution, won't you? </p><p></p><p><a href="https://amzn.to/33mKzZe" target="_blank">Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons</a>.</p><p></p><p></p><form name="donation" method="post" class="donation-form"><p class="subheadline">How often would you like to donate?</p><div class="form-row row--plan"><label class="plan-type__label"><input type="radio" name="plan_type" value="once" class="plan-type" required="" checked> Just once
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Sex
Rudy Giuliani, PUT DOWN YOUR CHRAM!
Trigger warning for Rudy Giuliani's 'trigger.'
October 21, 2020 04:18 PM
Rudy Giuliani: How many successes can one man have in a week?
Rudy has been caught on tape, not with a Russian spy (this time), but with Borat's "daughter" Tutar, and ... well, thank goodness he didn't masturbate on Zoom or anything, but ...
OK, so in the new movie Borat: Subsequent Moviefilm, which comes out Friday on Amazon Prime, the character who plays "Tutar" is pretending to be a conservative journalist, and she gets Rudy to do an interview with her. The Daily Beast's description is very colorful, so we will use it:
<blockquote>Posing as a conservative journalist in the mold of Tomi Lahren—albeit with a strong eastern European accent—Tutar sits down with Giuliani in a Manhattan hotel suite for an "interview" in which she mostly flatters him into creepily flirting with her. "I'll relax you, you want me to ask you a question?" Giuliani says as she giggles in response. After blaming China for the coronavirus, he agrees to "eat a bat" with his interviewer, who repeatedly touches his knee to egg him on.<br><br>Baron Cohen first interrupts the interview dressed as a sound engineer with a large boom mic, but leaves before it's over. At that point, Tutar offers to "have a drink in the bedroom" with Giuliani, who happily obliges.<br><br>On what appear to be hidden cameras, we see Giuliani remove her microphone and ask for her phone number and address as he sits down on the bed. He starts patting her backside as she removes the microphone from his pants. Giuliani then lies down on the bed and starts sticking his hands down his pants in a suggestive manner.<br>But before anything more can happen, Borat bursts into the room and shouts, <strong>"Put down your chram!"</strong>—his preferred word for penis. "She's 15! She's too old for you!"<br><br>The startled Giuliani, <strong>who had no reason to believe his interviewer was underage,</strong> sits up abruptly and gets out of there as fast as he can. <strong>"Rudy, Trump will be disappoint! You are leaving hotel without golden shower!"</strong> Borat yells after him.</blockquote><p>Put down your <em>chram</em>, Rudy! Bet that's not the first time he's heard that. This week. But please, commenters, note the bold above and don't be idiots like all of Twitter, assuming that Grossliani thought she was 15. It is annoying your Editrix, and when she's annoyed, we're <em>all</em> annoyed.</p><p>Anyway, the picture above is a still from the scene, where we can see that whatever Rudy is doing, it is <em>not</em> innocent. (Some people say maybe he is tucking in his shirt, but if so that is a WEIRD WAY TO TUCK IN A SHIRT.)</p><p>What's so great about this, besides everything, is that when it was filmed this summer, Rudy really seemed to think he got the better of Sacha Baron Cohen. HE told <a href="https://pagesix.com/2020/07/08/rudy-giuliani-called-the-nypd-on-sacha-baron-cohen-over-prank-interview/?_ga=2.238831814.754589288.1594145257-1361731549.1591216886" target="_blank">Page Six</a> that Cohen tried to get him, but instead Cohen got got! HE said the guy who ran into the room was wearing a "pink transgender outfit." </p><p>No not this one, because it's not quite pink:</p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<a href="https://media1.giphy.com/media/26ybxlujhsNxLnYbe/giphy.gif?cid=2fb0ca76f6qwkgn9zb4ffi88bt9on4w50xairi4sgf7ctwzw&rid=giphy.gif" target="_blank"><img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDU1MzgzOS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyMjk5NjQ3MH0.bUl3DRTlAWEpuCyH6StahKQwyCk9euWlxRdGQj7mjkE/img.gif?width=980" id="f930b" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="773669c95b49d7535479ff54461a3a7a" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image"></a>
<small class="image-media media-photo-credit" placeholder="Add Photo Credit...">
<a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/election2016-donald-trump-drag-rudy-giuliani-26ybxlujhsNxLnYbe" target="_blank">Giphy</a>
</small>
</p><p>Anyway, HE said he called the cops. And HE said he "only later realized it must have been Sacha Baron Cohen." HE added:</p><blockquote>"I thought about all the people he previously fooled and I felt good about myself because he didn't get me."</blockquote><p>If that's all it takes to make Rudy Giuliani feel good about himself ... </p><p>Anyway, Roodles <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMGqi76ihb4" target="_blank">told a radio show</a> at the time that he was <em>pretty sure</em> he hadn't done anything embarrassing in front of Borat. The Hill associate editor Jesse Byrnes <a href="https://twitter.com/jessebyrnes/status/1318984078956310529" target="_blank">tweeted out</a> this screenshot of how Giuliani's idiot spokesperson <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/rudy-giuliani-the-password-is-assword" target="_blank">"Christianné Allen"</a> described what had ensued the week it happened: <span></span></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNDU1Mzg5Ni9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0MDg5NDU4OH0.6psECKqmEFPNMEnnDR2apvTyR_i5tUzV_fQSf45qX-I/img.jpg?width=980" id="72220" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="61558d934e02eed55060f9c068b65869" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image">
</p><blockquote>"On Tuesday night, Mayor @RudyGiuliani foiled Sacha Cohen's attempted scam-interview, ultimately ending in a stupefied Cohen. At the conclusion of an interview for a documentary on @realdonaldtrump's leadership during the COVID-19 pandemic, Cohen barged onto the set screaming hysterically while wearing a multi-colored bikini with a mesh sash. <strong>UN-FOOLED AND PLACID</strong><strong></strong> [emphasis ours! -- Wonkette], Mayor Giuliani notified security to call the police. It was then, upon hearing the word police, Cohen turned from a screaming banshee into a fleeing hyena. I hear he was last seen running down the street in his bathrobe. Better luck next time, Sacha!"</blockquote><p>She forgot to mention the part about Rudy needing to put down his "un-fooled and placid" <em>chram</em>. What a very bad spokesperson!</p><p>Tell us more about Hunter Biden's laptop, though, Rudy, the one you got from the guy who 50/50 — <a href="https://www.wonkette.com/rudy-giuliani-americans-deserve-to-hear-my-easily-debunked-russian-spy-lies" target="_blank">in your estimation!</a> — is a Russian spy. </p><p>You're really batting a thousand right now. </p><p>By the way, at press time -- literally -- Rudy was texting with somebody he believes is Ivanka Trump about the "rumor" going around about him, which is presumably this thing about his <em>chram</em>, and says he is waiting to speak to Ivanka's father about it. He is actually texting with the vice president of the College Democrats of Indiana. </p><p>No, we're not kidding. The texts <a href="https://twitter.com/nickroberts317/status/1318962905447079938" target="_blank">start on October 4,</a> but this afternoon dude decided to text Rudy again. In other words, Rudy has believed this guy is Ivanka with a new number for 17 days now:</p><p><strong>UPDATE: OUR BAD. </strong>Those Ivanka texts <a href="https://www.mediaite.com/news/rachel-maddow-and-others-fall-for-fake-texts-between-giuliani-and-a-college-student-posing-as-ivanka-trump/" target="_blank">were fake.</a> We saw Rachel Maddow retweet them and a Politico guy retweet them, and lots of other people fell for it too, anyway, GOOD PUNKING, GUY. <br></p><p>Also, considering Rudy Giuliani's history, it was only too plausible. Anyway. </p><p>OPEN PANTS we mean OPEN THREAD!</p><p>[<a href="https://www.thedailybeast.com/how-rudy-giuliani-got-caught-red-handed-with-borats-daughter" target="_blank">Daily Beast</a> / <a href="https://pagesix.com/2020/07/08/rudy-giuliani-called-the-nypd-on-sacha-baron-cohen-over-prank-interview/?_ga=2.238831814.754589288.1594145257-1361731549.1591216886" target="_blank">Page Six</a>]</p><p><strong>Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter <a href="http://twitter.com/evanhurst" target="_blank">RIGHT HERE, DO IT RIGHT HERE!</a><br></strong></p><p><strong>GIVE IT WONKETTE. We mean money. Thank you.</strong></p><p><span style="background-color: initial;"></span></p><p><a href="https://amzn.to/33mKzZe" target="_blank">Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons</a>.</p><p></p><p></p><form name="donation" method="post" class="donation-form"><p class="subheadline">How often would you like to donate?</p><div class="form-row row--plan"><label class="plan-type__label"><input type="radio" name="plan_type" value="once" class="plan-type" required="" checked> Just once
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