Nats Unimpressed By So-Called "Faith" Of Jews, Muslims
Hey, when you're twelve games out of first place -- and seven games behind the Phillies -- then nobody can blame you for seeking out some supernatural help wherever you can find it. But is it really wise to put all your eggs in one basket? What if you dedicate your at-bat to, say, Shiva and Shiva alone? Won't that just enrage Ahura Mazda further, dooming your side to ending the season miles away from even the wild card slot?
The Washington Nationals have decided to hitch their wagon to this Jesus character, offering a "Faith Night" promotion that focused on one fairly specific kind of faith. Technically, the event happened after the game itself, and the competition remained entirely Jesus-free. Lucky patrons who were willing to leave the stadium, mill around in RFK's scenic parking lot for a bit, then come back inside got to listen to baseball players talk about religions and the Christian rock stylings of "MercyMe".
The usual liberal weenies on the local Interfaith Council have complained, demonstrating how much they hate America by pointing out that "faith" is not synonymous with "Christianity." Still, the event was clearly a success for the Nats. "I'm not a big baseball fan, but I really like Christian music," said one concertgoer, who apparently loves Christian music so much that she was willing to sit through three-plus hours of shitty last-place baseball to see it.
The Nats donated a portion of the proceeds to
Church groups charity themselves, and they used it to buy nice things for their families.