Nazi Pope: Only Catholics Are Christians

Hi cutie! - WonketteJust as the United States is finally getting tolerant enough to briefly consider electing a scientologist dog torturer, the "former" Nazi and current pope Joseph Ratzinger today announced that non-Catholic Christians aren't really Christians because their churches aren't really churches and lack the "means of salvation." Because of this, according to Ratzinger, you are going to Hell forever if you are a Born Again or Evangelical or Fundamentalist or Seventh Day Adventist or Baptist or Gnostic or Episcopalian or Lutheran or Methodist or Anglican or (especially) Mormon or (obviously) Jewish.

Members of the various post-Great Schism orthodox churches are apparently still allowed salvation but at some additional price or maybe a lower level of Heaven (the Roman church quit that purgatory bullshit, right?) because they do not worship the pope, said Ratzinger.

Message to God-fearing non-Catholic Republicans: Remember this when you vote against that ring-kissing abortionist, Rudy Giuliani. He worships the same pope who condemned you to Hell today!

Pope: Other Christians not true churches [AP]


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