Need Brownies? Try These Super Intense Fudgy Brownies

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I really wanted brownies. You know how it is! What am I going to do when I want brownies, but the only sugar I have on hand is raw sugar? I’m going through with it anyway, to enjoy the most intense brownies I have ever made.

Turns out that raw sugar enhanced the depth of flavor. The brownies had undertones of molasses. I can’t even explain how satisfying it was, to have something so chocolaty, fudgy, and rich. I would definitely make these again. Mmmm.

Size and cut parchment paper to fit a greased 9x13 baking pan. Select a fair-trade cocoa powder that doesn’t taste like child labor, and you can read more about that here. I chose a reasonably priced cocoa from South America at Trader Joe’s for less than three dollars. Cocoa from this region tends to be a little more fruity than sharp. If using a different cocoa, one and three-quarter cups should be sufficient, rather than the two cups listed below. Splurge on a really good butter. Preheat your oven to 325º, and have a hand mixer very handy.


2 ½ sticks of unsalted butter, plus 1 tbs.

2 ¾ c. raw sugar

2 c. cocoa powder, unsweetened

1 tsp. sea salt

1 ½ tsp. vanilla extract

5 medium eggs, cold

1 c. unbleached all-purpose flour

Now that your oven is preheated, wrestle with parchment paper to line the pan. I cut diagonal slits on each corner of the measured paper. Fold the slits in to make a smooth seam. Snip away excess paper in your pan, if needed. Lightly sprinkle the paper with some of the cocoa powder, like you’re making a cake, if you so desire.

In a saucepan, combine the first four ingredients on medium-low heat. Raw sugar will not want to break down, but keep on it, stirring occasionally until it’s nearly smooth and gently simmering. Do not boil; high heat will turn the sugar into thick syrup, and your brownies will be dry.

Remove the pan from heat, transfer the mixture to a large glass bowl, and allow it to cool for 15-20 minutes.

Add the vanilla and eggs, one egg at a time, and beat with a hand mixer until you have a glossy mixture. Beat it some more to break apart the sugar and then add flour. Pour this into the lined pan and bake for 35-45 minutes. When a toothpick inserted into the middle of the brownies comes up (mostly) clean, remove them from the oven. In 5-10 minutes, take the brownies out of the pan by lifting the parchment paper. Cut and serve. Enjoy plain, with a glass of milk, or with vanilla ice cream on top.

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Image: Marriott Hotels

Great GOP wordsmith Frank Luntz, the guy who gave us the "death tax" and who urged the George W. Bush administration to talk about "climate change" since it was less politically motivating than "global warming," did some more of his characteristic word magic today! While staying at the Hotel Imperial in Vienna, Austria, Luntz offered this cautionary tale about the evils of socialism, as illustrated by the shoddy conditions in a 5-star luxury hotel owned by Dubai's "Al Habtoor" conglomerate and operated by Marriott:

Talk about your grim hellholes! Apparently, there's only one elevator in the entire building, and it's been broken for three days, proving that European-style socialism is a failure that should never be imported to the USA, where -- damn it! -- all buildings work!

As some smartass pointed out, now Luntz may have to take the STAIRS, like a common Bolshevik!

We're still trying to get our heads around how a delay in getting an elevator fixed in a luxury hotel owned by the United Arab Emirati proprietors of Dubai's

  • Habtoor Grand Resort
  • Waldorf Astoria Dubai Palm Jumeirah
  • Habtoor Palace, LXR Hotels & Resorts
  • V Hotel, Curio Collection by Hilton
  • Hilton Dubai Al Habtoor City
  • Metropolitan Hotel Dubai
  • Al Habtoor Polo Resort

as well as

  • Imperial Hotel, a Luxury Collection Hotel, Vienna (Austria)
  • Hilton London Wembley (United Kingdom)
  • Hilton Beirut Habtoor Grand (Lebanon)
  • Hilton Beirut Metropolitan Palace (Lebanon)
  • President Abraham Lincoln Springfield – a DoubleTree by Hilton Hotel (United States)
  • InterContinental Budapest (Hungary)
  • The Ritz-Carlton, Budapest (Hungary)

is an example of the horrors of socialism, but then, we don't earn the big bucks like Luntz does. Austria is among the 14 richest countries in the world, so we're fairly certain it's not a commie hellhole. Then again, there is a very strong social safety net, so maybe people in subsidized housing stole all the elevator parts. Or perhaps the elevator would have been fixed sooner if only Austria didn't have such strong unions. It's a mystery.

Or maybe it's that NATIONAL socialism that's the problem, seeing as it has socialism RIGHT IN THE NAME!

Adolf Hitler, once a day labourer outside the Hotel Imperial Vienna, returned as the Führer and "delivered a speech to a rapturous crowd from [the hotel] suite's balcony, on 14 March 1938", according to

We suppose it's worth noting that the Imperial is decidedly not owned or operated by the Austrian government, where a far-Right coalition has recently imploded -- although maybe Luntz is confused about that, since official state guests are traditionally housed there. In any case, the elevator's busted, it's in Europe, Europe is socialist, and Frank Luntz is homesick for America, where no elevator ever goes unrepaired for an entire weekend. It simply has never happened because of our efficient free market!

Still, Luntz's tweet inspired some valuable reflections on how economic theory shapes the reality of everyday life. This is the kind of Austrian economics we can support.

In conclusion, capitalism always allocates resources efficiently and fairly, although that still doesn't explain why Frank Luntz has a job. And now it would be your DOKTOR ZOOM'S BIRTHDAY PARTY OPEN THREAD, if only the socialists would fix the elevator, the end.

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