New Congress Hero Saves Christmas From MUUUURDER, Amen
Republican Barry Loudermilk of Georgia is not even in Congress yet, and already, he just might be our favorite congressional wingnut. He believes all the right things: Obamacare is THE WORST, except for the IRS, which is also the worst; unborned fetuses and guns are THE BEST; and YAY values and God and the Bible, oh, and the Constitution too, and boo Hollywood. Yup, we expect great things from this new member of Congress.
In a radio interview with Josh Duggar -- yeah, one of those Duggars -- he explained the true meaning of Christmas and how damned godless liberals are trying to kill it because they haven't watched enough It's A Wonderful Life. What, you think we are exaggerating? Pfft!
It used to be that Christmas was a time where everybody put their differences aside and came together. There are stories from World War II and even World War I, where there had been ceasefires just to celebrate Christmas. In fact, in World War I, I believe, it was the British and the Germans declared a truce, and they played soccer together on Christmas, and then went back to firing at each other.
And so it’s always been an honored time. But just recently, it seems like it has gotten to the point where we have to defend our rights that are given to us to celebrate the birth of Christ, and even just the celebration of Christmas has been under fire by the far left.
If only we could go back to that golden era when we could have a nice game of sportsball and then go back to killing each other. Which, while a lovely story, quite possibly never happened. But telling stories that quite possibly never happened (like, ahem, a "virgin" giving birth) is in the spirit of the season.
Loudermilk is also concerned "that Americans have kind of lost that spirit of American exceptionalism and pride in the nation, and they just have lost a sense of hope." Ah, that spirit of American exceptionalism, for which we have, as we have historysplained at you before, great American patriot Joseph Stalin to thank.
Then Loudermilk explains his family's unique Christmas Eve tradition of watching It’s A Wonderful Life, and to Loudermilk, America is kind of like George Bailey. What -- you don't get it? Isn't it obvious?
He’s lost his idea and his purpose and everything is going wrong. But we just need a stark reminder that hey, we’re here for a purpose, and we impact others, and especially those that share our faith. You know, what we do every day impacts others. And so in our campaign, we took that idea and we reminded people of what a great blessing God has given us in this nation. And it’s our job to preserve it. And it’s not easy. And it’s difficult, but yet it’s our responsibility to sacrifice, to work, to pass this on to the next generation so they’ll have something better than we do. I sense that there is some momentum that we haven’t seen in many years in this nation, that people are just kind of tired of political correctness, they’re tired of having their rights stepped upon, and they’re ready for something different.
Sweet Christ, we can't wait for soon-to-be Rep. Loudermilk to get himself sworn into Congress in January. We wouldn't be so bold as to suggest he might be a contender to replace Michele Bachmann as one of the Christiest, derpiest members of the House ... or would we? After all, 'tis the season of miracles.