New Jersey School District Will Teach These Parents Responsibility If It's The Last Thing Their Kids Ever Do


We don't know how to tell you this, you guys, but someone is being a dick in New Jersey. Oh, let us wait as you collect your jaw and brainz from where they've shattered on the floor! Ready? Ok! So whassagoinon NJ? You are going to throw away the school lunches of the children what have no money for the school lunches, if they have not signed up for the free or reduced lunch program, because so many parents are taking advantage of not signing up for the free or reduced lunch program, and you need to teach them the personal responsibility of letting their children be hungry? That's cool. Very "New Jersey"! We never thought we would miss the terrible story of the cruel cheese sandwiches.

So tell us about how all the non-personal-responsibility parents are ruining it for everyone, Willingboro school district superintendent Dr. Ronald Taylor!

"Well, we're hoping it doesn't happen," says Dr. Ronald Taylor, the Superintendent. "It's either all or nothing type of policy, when you have parents not taking advantage of the reduced lunch and taking away dollars for instruction we have to adopt a policy to enforce it."

Well, we were hoping a "doctor" of whatever who is a school superintendent would not talk like Sarah Palin, but apparently our hopes were for naught! Oh, wait, you weren't done with your nutritious word salad for lunch.

"Upwards of $50,0000 for students who had not applied for Free and Reduced Lunch who received free lunches," says Dr. Taylor. "Part of the reason we're doing this is to help hold parents accountable."

Sorry, little Teresa Jr. and Joe Jr. Jr., but mommy and daddy have to learn some personal responsibility now. Maybe you should just sit over here during recess, and conserve what strength is left in your little bodies before you keel over dead like the little matchgirl. (Yes, yes, we know she died of exposure not starvation, we are aware of all fairy tale traditions.)

We assume Dennis Prager's erection, on reading of this triumph of the market or something, has lasted more than four hours. He should call his doctor. Or let his penis fall off. One or the other, probs.


Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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