New Poll: Michele Bachmann Already Losing Her House Race


Here is an important 2014 election update brought to you by AHAHAHAHAHAHA: Michele Bachmann is trailing her Democratic challenger for her House seat by two points, according to a new survey from Public Policy Polling:

The survey...shows Democrat Jim Graves leading Bachmann, a four-term congresswoman and former GOP presidential candidate, 47 percent to 45 percent. The results are within the poll’s 4.4 percentage point margin of error.

This is a pretty humiliating thing, as a Republican, to lose your seat in Minnesota's most conservative congressional district. Your Wonkette is going to have a drink to, uh, celebrate this thing that has not yet happened and speculate extremely prematurely on what Michele Bachmann might do with her time after her stench is ejected from the landfill known as Congress, for being too foul. Let's have some ideas, after the jump! 

  1. Collect/eat the remaining foster children in the state of Minnesota
  2. Start a new religion based on the worship of duck poop
  3. Replace her eyeballs with mirrors (picture this)
  4. Run for president of Venezuela
  5. Become a lesbian and get in shape running away from herself
  6. Record a sex tape with Rick Perry's toupee
  7. Get back her old job as a hated IRS tax collector
  8. Hide from the FBI.


Share your wild speculations in the comments! (Only comments with wild speculation will be allowed. And just to make it hard, no tangential Marcus Bachmann gay sex jokes. It's been done, whiners. You are ordered to be more imaginative.) [POLITICO]


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