Only a genius with an IQ of 500 like Rick Perry could finally fit the puzzle pieces together in what can be called the great Da Vinci Code riddle of our time: why did Barack Obama really want to allow gays to openly serve in the military? So that "our kids can't openly celebrate Christmas" is Rick Perry's somewhat counter-intuitive solution to this mystery according to his new campaign ad, but then again, special relativity is sort of counter-intuitive too, isn't it? Oh, Rick Perry, don't kid. We all know the reason you figured it out so fast is because you also hate Christmas. Incriminating evidence after the jump!

Check this out, from 2003:

Hey, did you know we just belatedly discovered that redirects to And that is as of yet "not occupied?" You learn something new every day! [YouTube/ Photo via Wonkette operative "Mack S."]


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