Donate

New York Rep. Michael Grimm Says He Did Not Sex That Lady In The Toilet

News

This "Michael Grimm" fellow, remember him? Of course you don't, it is not like he is Ted Yoho or Louie Gohmert, he is just some asshole from New York who apparently was being investigated by the FBI once (we reminded ourselves while doing a quick archive check and found thisgreatest ever correction, by us, of our terrible reporting, by us). He also was mad at Tyrant Obama for breaking the Constitution with a $4 cell phone fee. You know, the usual. BUT! Maybe we will get to know him a little better -- or a LOT better! -- now that the Daily News informs us he loves to have sex on ladies in bathrooms. Schwing!


Staten Island Rep. Michael Grimm denied reports Tuesday that he had a kinky 17-minute sex romp with a woman in the unisex bathroom of a Brooklyn wine bar.

The Republican congressman, who is single, said he didn’t score at The Owl’s Head in Bay Ridge on the Friday preceding the government shutdown two weeks ago. “I will not dignify this absurd distortion of the facts with a response,” the pol said, calling the accusations a “Democrat-led smear campaign.”

Oh, shut the fuck up with your "Democrat-led smear campaign," Michael Grimm. You don't know it was Democrats who made you look like a TOTAL FUCKING STUD just all gettin' busy with hot chicks everywhere you go because the ladies love that pretty little mouth and those scared beady little eyes.

In fact, we're gonna go with "Michael Grimm leaked this his own bad self," because that is what we would do, the end.

[DailyNews, via DeathAndTaxes]

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

$
Donate with CC

Did you know the Russia investigation is still a thing? America sort of took a break from it (Robert Mueller didn't), so we could focus on being horrified that Donald Trump has been ripping babies out of mommies' arms with such glee you'd think the babies were Big Macs. But here are a couple stories you might have missed in the past couple of days, and they both involve Devin Nunes obstructing justice, because that's the only thing he's good at. (OK, fine, we may have heard a rumor that he is also good at fucking cows, but that is just a rumor, so you guys need to stop being such Gossiping Gwendolyns!)

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC

This weekend, Sarah Huckabee Sanders was politely asked to leave a restaurant in Virginia. Before that, Department of Homeland Security chief Kirstjen Nielsen -- fresh off of denying then excusing putting Mexican children in cages -- was shamed out of a Mexican restaurant. And Pam Bondi, the Florida AG, got her ass booed out of a screening of the Mr. Rogers documentary by a good citizen. Watch it, it was great!

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

SINGLE & MONTHLY DONATIONS

SUPPORT THE CAUSE - PAYPAL DONATION

PAYPAL RECURRING DONATIONS

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc