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Newly Thin Dick Cheney Going To Cheat Death Forever

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George W. Bush broke ground on his presidential library of children's book boxed-sets packed with plush characters Monday, and look who was on hand. Why, if it's not the Angel of Death himself! Yes, Dick Cheney, who does not have a pulse, we remind you, was on hand to show everyone his hott new well-toned body, acquired when he ripped an Afghan's head off in a secret prison last week. This man will always find a new way to keep his dark mind living eternally.


"Of course the George W. Bush Presidential Center isn't much to look at just yet, but the workers are ready, construction will move fast after today's groundbreaking. This may be the only shovel ready project in America," said Mr. Cheney.

Hahahahahahahahaha. Hilarious. The ailing country you made fun of hopes you die soon too, dick. [CNN]

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Cripes the News has been awful lately! And so Yr Editrix suggested we find some good, positive news. Especially after we pitched writing a Wonket about this Mother Jones story on how global warming may be killing the whales, even though Donald Trump knows their prince. (Reply: "Nope. FOR SURE NOT THAT.") And so, as a reminder that a gooder world is possible and apropos of nothing at all that definitely didn't set your Editrix off on Twitter, where she has been stewing and bitching most shrillfully about the 2016 election and the 2020 election and any terrible similarities thereof and thereupon and therefore and thereto, we present a collection of videos of Elizabeth Warren yelling at big banks and calling for them to be broken up and their criminal operators to go to jail. Puppies and kittens will only get you so far, after all.

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Spinal Tap - Gimme Some Money

Some dick is suing your Wonkette! If you are able, will you please send money?

1. Pick "just once" or "monthly."

2. Pick an amount, like say "all of the money."

3. Click "paypal" if you are paypal or "stripe" if you are not paypal.

4. MONEY.

5. Carry on with your day, and with new posts below!

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