<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><urlset xmlns="http://www.sitemaps.org/schemas/sitemap/0.9" xmlns:news="http://www.google.com/schemas/sitemap-news/0.9"><url><loc>https://www.wonkette.com/p/supreme-court-found-an-easter-treat</loc><news:news><news:publication><news:name>Wonkette</news:name><news:language>en</news:language></news:publication><news:publication_date>2026-04-06T18:45:29+00:00</news:publication_date><news:title>Supreme Court Found An Easter Treat For Steve Bannon</news:title></news:news></url><url><loc>https://www.wonkette.com/p/april-6-1712-in-labor-history-one</loc><news:news><news:publication><news:name>Wonkette</news:name><news:language>en</news:language></news:publication><news:publication_date>2026-04-06T17:00:47+00:00</news:publication_date><news:title>April 6, 1712, In Labor History: One Of The First Slave Revolts, In New York City</news:title></news:news></url><url><loc>https://www.wonkette.com/p/maybe-the-real-reopening-the-strait</loc><news:news><news:publication><news:name>Wonkette</news:name><news:language>en</news:language></news:publication><news:publication_date>2026-04-06T15:45:14+00:00</news:publication_date><news:title>Maybe The Real 'Reopening The Strait Of Hormuz' Is The Friends We're Making Along The Way</news:title></news:news></url><url><loc>https://www.wonkette.com/p/air-canada-boss-fired-for-unpardonable</loc><news:news><news:publication><news:name>Wonkette</news:name><news:language>en</news:language></news:publication><news:publication_date>2026-04-06T14:05:18+00:00</news:publication_date><news:title>Air Canada Boss Quit-Fired For Unpardonable Canadian Sin, Trois Guesses What It Is</news:title></news:news></url><url><loc>https://www.wonkette.com/p/trump-tentatively-schedules-apocalypse</loc><news:news><news:publication><news:name>Wonkette</news:name><news:language>en</news:language></news:publication><news:publication_date>2026-04-06T13:07:52+00:00</news:publication_date><news:title>Trump Tentatively Schedules Apocalypse For Tuesday. Maybe He'll Forget? </news:title></news:news></url><url><loc>https://www.wonkette.com/p/but-at-what-pentecost-tabs-mon-april</loc><news:news><news:publication><news:name>Wonkette</news:name><news:language>en</news:language></news:publication><news:publication_date>2026-04-06T11:02:16+00:00</news:publication_date><news:title>At What Pentecost? Tabs, Mon. April 6, 2026</news:title></news:news></url><url><loc>https://www.wonkette.com/p/jesus-fcking-christ-is-fckin-risen</loc><news:news><news:publication><news:name>Wonkette</news:name><news:language>en</news:language></news:publication><news:publication_date>2026-04-05T12:50:50+00:00</news:publication_date><news:title>Jesus F*cking Christ (Is F*ckin' Risen!)</news:title></news:news></url><url><loc>https://www.wonkette.com/p/wonkette-movie-night-smoke-signals</loc><news:news><news:publication><news:name>Wonkette</news:name><news:language>en</news:language></news:publication><news:publication_date>2026-04-05T00:00:17+00:00</news:publication_date><news:title>Wonkette Movie Night: Smoke Signals</news:title></news:news></url></urlset>