Newsweek Protects American Readers From George Clooney Interview

Hello, whores! - WonketteThere is a war on -- a war for the hearts and minds of Americans. Newsweek is constantly protecting innocent Americans from the stories they can't handle. Is the world melting? Did the White House betray a deal with North Korea? Did we lose that war in Afghanistan, too? That's for Newsweek's international readers to know and for you to not find out. Sorry, dummies!

This week, American readers get a lovely cover story on those little-known avant-garde artists Britney Spears and Paris Hilton. International readers get ... well, a cover story about European churches being turned into bars. But at least that's a good pop culture phenomenon!

Also, the international editions have an interview with George Clooney, the actor who goes around solving world problems and calling Bush a cunt. But domestic Newsweek refused to run the Clooney piece,, fearing that Americans might try to read it because it's about a movie star and then get terribly confused by the Africa/genocide stuff.

Earlier:Americans Are Stupid, and Newsweek Intends To Keep It That Way

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