Newt Begs World To Pay Attention To Him; Wonkette Obliges
Let's say you're Newt Gingrich. At the age of 64, you've achieved a lot of things in your life. You got called a mindless cannibal on the floor of the House of Representatives, led the election surge that ended decades of Democratic dominance in said house, divorced your first wife on her deathbed, cheated on your second wife with your third wife while spearheading an attempt to impeach the president for lying about cheating on his wife, resigned the speakership in disgrace, and wrote a series of kick-ass alternate history novels. What's left on your agenda?
Why, becoming an American-hating hippie, of course! Here's a list of just-slightly-out-of-context things Newt said at a conference for collegiate conservatives:
* "We've been engaged in a phony war."
* "None of you should believe we are winning this war. There is no evidence that we are winning this war."
* "We were in charge for six years ... I don't think you can look and say that was a great success."
* "First of all, we have to have a national energy strategy, which basically says to the Saudis, 'We're not going to rely on you.'"
Gingrich also refused to name his favored candidate for the Republican nomination, and continued to pimp his dorkily named Websites, www.winningthefuture.net and www.americansolutions.com. Many observers feel that this more groundwork-laying for a potential presidential campaign, but we suspect that it's all part of an elaborate play for Dennis Kucinich's wife.