Newt Gingrich Predicts Huge Republican Landslide In 2018, ON THE MOON

Come in, Newtbase Alpha...

Newt Gingrich, whom rightwingers still listen to for some reason, predicted today in a column for Fox News that the only real surprise in the 2018 midterms will be the enormous "size of the Republican victory," because it's going to be the most unbelievable landslide ever.

He has this all figured out: Once Americans realize the lamestream media have been lying to them about what a great guy Donald Trump is, and how much richer they are as a result of the GOP's Tax Cut For Rich Fuckwads, they'll all flock to the polls to reward Republicans for making their lives so much better.

Gingrich explains why voters will suddenly start loving the GOP again. For one thing, since there will never be a "Senator Roy Moore" for Dems to make an issue of, Republicans won't have to defend Moore or the party's embarrassing support of him. In November, Gingrich said Moore was the victim of a "lynch mob" incited by the "totally phony news of The Washington Post," so he knows how difficult defending Moore could have been. Sadly, Gingrich doesn't even take a moment to thank Alabama's black voters for saving the GOP from all that unpleasantness, which seems ungrateful of him.

Without Moore cruising the national mall in the mistaken hope of meeting teen girls, says Gingrich, that only conceivable issue Democrats can run on is the Republican tax cut law, and boy, are they going to get crushed when Americans realize what a sweet deal it is for them! Says Gingrich:

First, the media lied about the tax bill in an effort to convince most Americans their taxes would go up.

Then, the media took surveys of people who opposed the GOP bill based on the false information supplied by the media.

Then, the media talked again and again about how unpopular the Republican plan was and how it was going to weaken Republican candidates in 2018.

Then, the bill passed, and unsurprisingly, it turned out to be dramatically better for Americans than the elite media had described.

Gingrich offers as an example a segment from CBS News -- suddenly not lying for once! -- in which three families said they expected their taxes to go up under the Republican plan, but were all pleasantly surprised to find out that they'll actually get a tax cut next year. And when Americans all realize they were lied to, they will turn wrathfully on Democrats and punish them for voting against the tax bill.

Ground Control to Major Newt: There's a little probelm with your thesis here. Nothing in that CBS report changes the fact that 83 percent of the benefits of the tax cuts will go to the top one percent of Americans. And the media has accurately reported what's built into the tax cut law; yes, it will result in cuts for most people in 2018. But to allow for a permanent corporate tax cut, the bill phases out individual tax cuts over time, and by 2025 most Americans will indeed see their taxes go up. Funny, Gingrich fails to mention that tax cuts for families are temporary, but corporate tax cuts are permanent.

Gingrinch is positively giddy at the prospect that most Americans will be dumb enough to think a short-term dip in their taxes will be permanent:

1. The American people will be positively surprised and pleased by the degree to which Republicans kept their word and actually put more money in taxpayer pockets. After 10 months of frustration from trying to repeal Obamacare, Republicans have proven they can get big things done.

2. The news media’s dishonesty will be vivid at a personal level. People will be able to compare their personal experience with the news media's fake reporting and endless bias. As the truth sinks in, the ability of the liberal media to shape opinion will decline even further.

3. Democrats who voted against the bill will live to regret it as people look at their family budgets and realize Democrats in the House and Senate wanted Washington bureaucrats to have more money, rather than hard-working Americans.

We just love it when Newt Goddamn Gingrich accuses anyone of "dishonesty." We can't explain why anyone would ever believe him, but it's cute how he lies right in the middle of calling other people liars.

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[Fox News]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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