Newt Gingrich Still A Powerful Douche, Somehow

Newt Gingrich Still A Powerful Douche, Somehow

Newt Gingrich is a lying loser who hasn't been in power for like 10 years. And yet, he still controls everything in the world. In the last week he's been leading the right-wing rebellion against the bailout -- yelling about socialism, ranting about the pushy Democratic leadership, calling for Hank Paulson's resignation. We get press releases from Newt Gingrich for some reason! And his words struck a chord with right-wing talk radio, which struck a chord with House Republicans trying to keep their seats. Newt made the Republican basefurious over this bailout. And now LOOK, right as voting started today, he released a statement saying, "Eh, I'd vote for this bailout." His minions apparently did not get their overlord's message.

Here's the statement from the former House Speaker, who famously cheated on his wife during the Clinton impeachment:

"I have sadly come to two painful conclusions.

“First, the crisis of the credit markets is real and could have horrendous consequences dislocating the world market, causing enormous economic pain, and discrediting free market capitalism for a generation.

“Second, as long as Secretary Paulson is in charge, it is impossible to get a creative or significantly better solution. The House Republicans, reinforced by John McCain, have improved this bill significantly so it is less bad than the original Paulson proposal. However, they cannot improve it more because of Paulson’s intransigence, which is an even greater obstacle to a good bill than the liberal Democrats who run the House and Senate.

“Therefore, while I am discouraged at the final collapse of the Bush Administration, and frustrated by the Democrats’ passion for the taxpayer’s money, I would reluctantly and sadly vote for the bailout were I still in office.

“I understand and sympathize with any member who votes no.

“The bill is not the best proposal for solving the crisis. It is not even a good proposal for solving the crisis.

“However it is the only proposal Secretary Paulson would support and his support was essential in this setting.”

Aww, Gingrich finally realized what the adults were so worried about -- how this bailout, so hyped and expected after Paulson's admittedly pushy behavior, kinda has to pass in some form or another. It's not a fun thing at all! So can the Republican base please stop listening to this man now? He had nooooo problem spending taxpayers' money for corporations back in the '90s, when he was vaguely relevant. He's a ssssslob.

Newt Gingrich: ‘I would reluctantly and sadly vote for the bailout' [Atlanta Journal-Constitution]


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