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Newt Gingrich Will Reassess His Plan To Declare Himself American Emperor

News

Newt, Newt, our hero Newt,what are you talking about? Weren't we supposed to ride this train all the way to Tampa and fuck shit up at the convention? Now you're saying you're going to reassess the campaign after tonight. Weak, Newt. The Newt of '78-'94 wouldn't have caved like this. That Newt would've castrated Mitt Romney with a T-Rex skull, on pay-per-view. And then he would've gotten thrown out of the speakership, but still... would've been awesome.


Newt, according to NBC News, will "reassess his candidacy depending on his finish in Delaware" tonight. Yeah, as ol' Lee Atwater maybe used to say, never drop out of a late-game national primary season until you've seen where Delaware lands, because it's sort of a kingmaker -- assuming more than zero people turn out. But sure, hinge it on a close Delaware primary that Romney doesn't care about at all if that helps you save face. Knowing Newt, though, "depending on his finish in Delaware" probably means he'll drop out if he wins and keep going if he loses.

[Reuters]

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Poor People Are Mad As Hell, And They're Not Going to Take It Anymore.

The Poor People's Campaign marched on Washington, and we were there!

Culture Wars
by Dominic Gwinn

Yesterday the new Poor People's Campaign, led by Rev. William Barber and Rev. Dr. Liz Theoharis, concluded 40 days of protest and civil disobedience with a rally on the National Mall. Building off of Rev. Martin Luther King Jr's original Poor People's Campaign 50 years ago, the new campaign is aimed at uniting labor leaders with activists to build a coalition of all marginalized people

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The police have clearly failed to stop the scourge of black kids selling water to thirsty people, so your average law-abiding, permit-respecting white lady has no choice but to take matters into her own (did we mention they were white?) hands. You might call her a busybody gone power mad or a simple tool of racist micoaggression, but we just call her "Permit Patty."

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