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Newt's Five Reasons To Be Hopeful About the Future

Put your hand down, Fatty McHitler - WonketteIn these troubled times, it's very common to wonder, "What would Newt Gingrich think about this troubling situation?"


Sadly, Gingrich isn't dead, so he is able to actually tell us what he thinks or at least have somebody post it on his crappy website. Join us after the jump as we explore and then tear apart Newt's Five Reasons To Be Hopeful About the Future.

Reason No. 1: The Coming Explosion of Scientific Knowledge

In the next 25 years, there will be an explosion of scientific knowledge in the areas of health, energy, and the environment. We will be able to use that knowledge to combat disease, become energy independent, and work towards a better environment.

But it will be too late to extend Newt's life, so high five to that!

Reason No. 2: The Metrics of Accountability

Metrics are vital for measuring and comparing the results of an action. Rudy Giuliani used CompStats to develop metrics for his police force when he was mayor. This kept police officers accountable for their job and as a result has made New York City 75% safer than it was in 1993. Metrics can be used for education, health care, and the effectiveness of government, but only when those responsible are held accountable to that metric.

The Patriot Act, which Newt criticizes as not being draconian enough, already makes it a federal crime to use any kind of accountability metrics on the federal government -- unless a Clinton is president.

Reason No. 3: The Private Sector Revolution in Productivity and Quality

In the private sector, there is an ongoing revolution in quality and productivity. The government has not kept up with this and is stuck in a pre-information age landscape that is inconvenient and ineffective. If the government was able to take advantage of private sector improvements in productivity and use principles of outcome based metrics, the government will achieve real change. Not only that, but the costs of running government will substantially decrease.

Once government is free to operate as effectively as Enron, WorldCom, Adelphia, Arthur Anderson, Haliburton, Tyco, HP, Jet Blue and the hundred subprime mortgage lenders currently collapsing, we will all be free to divorce our cancer-stricken wives.

Reason No. 4: The Entrepreneurial Courage of America

One of the greatest aspects of America is ability to allow entrepreneurs to take their ideas and succeed with them. Some of the hurdles to entrepreneurship is bureaucracy and unionization. There are many teachers out there who want to do more for their students but are restricted by bureaucratic red tape. At NASA there are engineers who want to be more active in space but are restricted by cold war era rules and regulations. By removing this red tape America will see a flurry of scientific activity and the flourising of creativity that hasn't been seen in a long time.

You can't flourish until you learn how to spell flourishing. And that's one of many reasons why the United States has been flushed down the toilet of entrepreneurial despair: Not even the alleged smarty jones who led the Republican Revolution can spell.

Reason No. 5: Citizens Out-Competing Bureaucracy

Today billions of dollars are spent on federal programs such as the National Institute of Health, the National Science Foundation, the Department of Energy, and NASA on trying to develop cutting edge technology through slow bureaucratic processes. This is highly ineffective. The X Prize for putting a vehicle into suborbital space is a perfect example of private sector creativity that pushed the limits of technology without spending tax payer dollars. Pushing government leaders to focus on prizes, metrics, and entrepreneurship, we would see humongous growth in productivity and effectiveness while cutting down the budget.

Look, you can't just repeat No. 4 and call it No. 5 because you wanted a 5-point list. This is called "bullshit," no matter how much you whine about NASA. And compared to that Iraq Occupation you love so much, NASA seems positively competent.

You can sign up for the newsletter at Winning the Future and receive access to the full version, not just the summarized version.

Oh Jesus Christ, there's a longer version of this inane crap? Good luck with your, uhm, "presidential campaign"!

Newt's Five Reasons to be Hopeful about the Future [VoteNewt]

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