Next Week, WSJ to Posit Link Between Interest Rates, Mystical Billiard Ball Imbued With Decision-Making Abilities
Uh, Wall Street Journal, you wanna explain this one? How Pluto's demotion will affect astrology? On the front page? There's really no way around this. You didn't go talk to the astrologers for a bit of color, you actually made the Pluto article about them.
Will the Journal run a piece on how the Medicare bill affects Christian Scientists? How will Dr. Gene Ray, creator of the Time Cube, react to the proof of Poincare's Conjecture? Is the crisis in the Middle East affecting the region's Orgone energy? Also, is this the best passage ever run in the WSJ?
Others warned that Scorpios -- people born between Oct. 23 and Nov. 21 -- should be especially cautious in the coming days because the sign is closely associated with Pluto.
"Scorpios can be extremely explosive, and very direct, and this could be the trigger that makes them explode," says Milton Black, an Australian astrologer who claims to have more than 580,000 clients. Laura Bush, Hillary Clinton and Condoleezza Rice, take note. All three are Scorpios.
Well that's the last thing we need -- Condi, Hillary, and Laura all shrieking like harpies, rending their garments and tearing each other's hair out. THANKS A LOT, EGGHEADS. Now that middle east thing will never get solved.
This was the result of some competition to see if news can be nuttier than editorial, right?