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Man, you leave Twitter for an hour, and when you come back an entire 5-season telenovela has already played out. Now? Someone has taken that nice Ann Romney and shoved her before an Obamacare Death Panel! (If you are ever before an Obamacare Death Panel, you better pray to your uncaring God that check-kiting grifter and evil moon-muffin Newt Gingrich isn't chairing it.)


Huh? We said, because that is craaaazy. Well, it seems Democratic personage Hilary Rosen went on Anderson Cooper and bitched a little that Ann Romney has never worked a day in her life -- which is true -- but then tried to back it up by blaming Mittens for saying that Ann campaigns a lot without him and always reports back that women are worried about the economy. Rosen tried to spin this, completely disingenuously, as Mittens claiming Ann is an expert on women and the economy. No, he said she reports back that that's what women are talking about. Shut up Hilary Rosen. And shut up Romney campaign manager Eric Fehrnstrom. Nobody believes you no matter how many times you repeat your "Mostly False" bullshit about 92 percent of jobs lost under Obama being women's. That is an unpossible number. Like, that is higher than Obama's share of the black vote, almost, maybe! And while we're at it, shut up newest Breitbart on the block "Washington Free Beacon," which yesterday had a story about an Obama campaign staffer being a misogynist because she follows Mike Tyson, Chris Brown, Alec Baldwin, and "notorious womanizer" and Republican former governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, on Twitter.

So now we all get to be in a big old slapfight about working moms vs. stay-at-home moms, like we are duking it out in dueling Atlantic cover stories, because of course we do. Dibs on being whoever's not Caitlyn Flanagan!

So what should Hilary Rosen have said, before shutting up forever? Oh, just that Mitt thinks the only reason women know about the economy is because they're worried about gas prices because they are the ones driving the kids to school and soccer practice. Because he said that, and it's infuriating. That way you get to point out that Mitt thinks all women are stay-at-home mothers without actually ragging on stay-at-home mothers, who can get a little sensitive when you pick on them because they are sitting home all day with no one but their little fucking idiots to talk to, and it makes them sort of nuts.

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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And now for some very serious TUT TUTTING! It's time again for Republicans to make sad words about President Treason McTraitorpants selling out the country. This time they are seriously concerned, nay even deeply troubled, that Donald Trump would stand next to Vladimir Putin and pretend the Russians didn't hack the 2016 election. These patriotic Republicans are shocked, SHOCKED! Well, not, like, upset enough to do anything about it -- not with a fascist carpooler to jam into the Supreme Court. But they've got tweets, so it's all good!

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Republicans are in a pickle. Midterms are coming up and the party in the White House usually loses seats in those elections. It doesn't help their chances that their guy Donald Trump frolics through fields holding hands with self-made Russian dictator and coincidental poisoner Vladimir Putin, who our own justice department believes attacked our mostly free elections and our true national monument, the Internet.

If you're as old as I am, you'll recall that back in the 1980s, the whole Republican brand involved not trusting the Ruskies, and they were especially disappointed when Kevin Costner turned out to be one in No Way Out. Now, the current Republican president is talking like some kind of crazy commie lib, bashing the FBI and giving the benefit of the doubt to a former KGB agent. During an interview Sunday where he wore a hat with "USA" in big letters on it, presumably so someone could easily return him if he got lost on the field trip, Trump went so far as to call the European Union a "foe" of his country, which if you believe his hat is supposedly the United States not Russia.

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