Nice Time: Liz Warren And Ed Markey Being Total Hippies Again

Oh. My. God. Libruls are TEH WORST! Damn hippies always seeking to create policy that benefits ‘the poors,’ when we all know that John Calvin,Wordy Shipmates, Shining City on a Hill, America, fuck yeah.

Who are the heretics today who seek to desecrate the foundational principles of Jesus's Capitalist Emporium for Jesus? None other than Senators Elizabeth Warren (D-Heart Flutters) and Ed Markey (D-New Guy). Per Daily Kos:

Since Congress isn't going to pass sane policy like an increased minimum wage and sick leave anytime soon, it's up to the blue states and cities to do it. Next up, we hope: Massachusetts, where a coalition has formed to get these measures on the 2014 ballot. The lead petitioners' names will be familiar: Sen. Elizabeth Warren for the minimum wage, and Sen. Ed Markey for earned sick time.

While this might make New Pope happy, it will certainly anger the True Flock, who know that wealth is a sign that God loves you, which is why Jesus had a net worth of old sandals, some pieces of lumber, and some gently used nails. 

So what do these two crazy liberals want, exactly?

Warren is leading the effort to have the minimum wage raised to $10.50 by 2016, and then peg it to inflation, just like things like Social Security, because you can’t go to the talkies and get a malted for a nickel anymore.

Markey, who was just elected to the Senate from Massachusetts, is leading the charge to ensure that workers can have earn sick leave. Because RomneyCare is not enough – apparently, some greedy goblins want to be able to be able to use such health insurance during the day when the doctors are available, like they are some kind of white collar workers or something.

We haven’t read any conservative responses because we are bloggers and therefore LAZY, but we can imagine the response would be something like, “derp derp derp anti-business, job killing, no one in Massachusetts will ever hire anybody ever again because paying someone barely $21,000 per year is TOO MUCH, and the only solution is to repeal ObamaCare for the 41st time because eventually it will totally work probably we guess.”

We are a mommyblog and not a religion/theology blog, but it sure seems like if there is a god(ess) out there, He/She/It/They would be in favor of helping the poors. So we will happily side with Warren and Markey for trying to do some good in this world, starting in Massachusetts. You two join an esteemed group of Legislative Badasses, and we hope you continue to work your badassery on the federal level.

[Daily Kos]


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