Is our South Carolina children learning? Stephen Colbert, South Carolina native, decided to do his part to make sure that "YES THEY IS," by announcing that he, along with some of his buddy-pals from this big money foundation, would be chipping in $800,000 in order to fund every single grant requested by South Carolina teachers on the website, which acts as a sort of Kickstarter for teachers all over the country, so that they can afford to give their kids the best book learnin' they know how:

Colbert made the announcement on a live video feed Thursday at a surprise event at Alexander Elementary School in Greenville.

Colbert partnered with The Morgridge Family Foundation 's Share Fair Nation and ScanSource, which is headquartered in Greenville, to fund nearly 1,000 projects for more than 800 teachers at over 375 schools, totaling $800,000.

State schools superintendent Molly Spearman explained that these projects are "generally extra things, but to be honest with you, in some situations it could be basic-type things that the students need where the district just hasn't been able to fund it." That, of course, happens far too often in America's public schools.

Colbert told the kids to "enjoy your learning," and the kids did not respond by saying "learning sucks, science isn't real," so they're already ahead of a lot of their parents. The superintendent, who, we must point out, has the most delightful Southern accent ever, noted that it was Teacher Appreciation Week, which made Colbert's lovely gift even more timely.

The Daily Caller, of course, decided to dig into the grant requests to make sure they all are worthwhile, according to wingnuts, and found that Stephen Colbert bought the kids 101 cow eyeballs (for dissecting!), therapy balls (to keep the kids focused in one classroom), and also a bunch of liberal froggy French food ingredients, to make crepes, in French class! GOOD. We're pretty sure the teachers have a good grasp on what their kids need, and also fuck the Daily Caller.

So, South Carolina kids, enjoy all the fun educational things you're going to get to do, and remember, it was that nice liberal man on the television, and not your creationist moron Republican legislators, what made it happen.

[Greenville Online]


Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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Well, goddamn it, a wonderful person we'd never heard of until last night is dead. Lyra McKee was 29, an investigative journalist who specialized in looking at the legacy of "the Troubles" in Northern Ireland. She was murdered by someone shooting at police during rioting in Derry, or perhaps Londonderry, depending on who you want to piss off by using either name for the city. The rioting broke out after police "started carrying out searches in the area because of concerns that militant republicans were storing firearms and explosives" in advance of attacks planned to mark the anniversary of the 1916 Easter Rising. Police are blaming the violence and McKee's death on the "New Irish Republican Army," a radical republican group formed a few years ago from several smaller groups. Despite the name, the group has no ties to the old Provisional Irish Republican Army, which renounced violence and disarmed in 2005 following the 1998 Good Friday Agreement, which was supposed to have brought peace to Northern Ireland, and kind of did, at least much of the time.

McKee is being remembered by colleagues and readers as a promising journalist who was expected to go far. A year ago, McKee signed a two-book deal with Faber & Faber; the first of the books, The Lost Boys, an investigation of eight young men who disappeared in Belfast during the Troubles in the '60s and '70s, will be published next year. A 2016 Forbes profile said "McKee's passion is to dig into topics that others don't care about." For instance, CNN reports, McKee spent five years investigating a story about the only rape crisis center in Northern Ireland and its long struggle to regain funding after the government eliminated it.

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