Nine Mean Names Elizabeth Warren Should Call Donald Trump
Elizabeth Warren, she is the best, we love her. But Donald Trump, he is also the best, in a very different kind of way, and we love him too, for very different reasons. (Because of the crazy things he says, with his face, that are awful terrible THE WORST, and Republicans love him for it, and he is leading in the GOP primary field, and please oh please pretty please can he be the Republican presidential nominee, PLEASE? We will say our prayers and drink our little wine and eat our little crackers to make it so.)
Now, thanks to NBC reporter Frank Thorp, we can love them both, together:
WARREN: Donald Trump calling John McCain anything other than a hero is just Donald Trump being a blowhard.
Thank you, Perfesser Warren. In addition to "blowhard," may we humbly propose some other mean names that you can call Donald Trump, if you are so inclined:
1. Fuckface Von Clownstick. He really hates that:
2. Whitey Milkshitter. In English or Spanish, or any other language of your choosing.
3. Short-fingered vulgarian. If you wanna get factual.
4. Rubber-faced buttplug. Literally factual.
5. Draft-dodging shit weasel. Also factual.
7. Syphilitic limp-dicked lick knob. Probably factual?
8. Squirrel-haired taint dragon. Why not?
9. Donald Trump. The meanest insult of all.
Blowhard is a pretty good start, though. So if you love Elizabeth Warren like we love Elizabeth Warren -- and we know that you do, don't even front -- buy yourself an ass-kicking kick-ass Elizabeth Warren T-shirt, and wear it proudly, with love and gratitude.