No One Has Ever Been Funnier Than Hillary Clinton!
As those two chicks discussed this morning, Hillary made herself a HILLARE mock flight attendant speech to reporters yesterday! Haha, it was cute because she acted like a silly goat (humanizing points) while re-assuming the inevitable presidential role (inevitable presidential role points). Oxygen tanks were released and unfortunately no one died of suffocation.
Campaign reporters on her airplane love the tomfoolery of an overhead announcement:
Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, and welcome aboard the maiden flight of Hil Force One. My name is Hillary and I am so pleased to have most of you on board.
FAA regulations prohibit the use of any cell phones, blackberries, or wireless devices that may be used to transmit a negative story about me.
In a few minutes, I am going to switch off the 'fasten your seat belt sign.' However, I've learned lately that things can get awfully bumpy when you least expect it - so you might want to keep those seatbelts fastened.
And in the event of an unexpected drop in poll numbers, this plane will be diverted to New Hampshire.
If you look out from the right, you will see an America saddled with tax cuts for the wealthiest and a war without end. If you look out from the left, you will see an America with a strong middle class at home and a strong reputation in the world.
Once we've reached cruising altitude, we'll be offering in flight entertainment: my stump speech.
Once again, thank you for joining us on Hil Force One. We know you have choices when you fly, and so we are grateful that you chose the plane with the most experienced candidate.
And if you'd like to fuck me, I'll be in the Mile Hill Club towards the rear of the plane. Again, rear of the plane.
Fasten Your Seatbelts, It Could Be a Bumpy Ride [The Caucus]