Nobody Gives Donald Trump Credit For Not Wanting To F*ck 12-Year-Old Paris Hilton
He watched her sex tape though. (Pic shamelessly stolen fromThe Freethought Project)
Poor Donald Trump doesn't get credit for anything. He doesn't get credit for being such a gentleman as to call Hillary "Secretary Clinton." He doesn't get any credit for saving Miss Universe Alicia Machado's job, even though he was so grossed out by her that he called her "Miss Piggy." He doesn't get get any credit for proving once and for all that Barack Obama was born in America, even though the birther racism directed toward the first black American president aggrieved him so.
And now, we have a new thing Trump isn't getting credit for. It's not a new, unearthed thing -- it's just something a lot of people missed, including us! Feminist writer Jessica Valenti tweeted out this thing from a 2015 Daily Beast article about a 2003 Donald Trump interview with Howard Stern, and oh boy. Are you hiding your kids and your wives? You need to, because here's Donald:
Seriously, did you hide your kids, specifically your little girls? OK, here is the quote if you can't embiggen:
"Now, somebody who a lot of people don’t give credit to but is in actuality very beautiful is Paris Hilton,” Trump told Stern. “I’ve known Paris Hilton from the time she’s 12, her parents are friends of mine, and the first time I saw her she walked into the room and I said, ‘Who the hell is that?’ At 12, I wasn’t interested… but she was beautiful.” He also admitted to watching Paris Hilton’s sex tape with Knauss, despite knowing her since the age of 12 and being very close friends with the Hilton Family.
Donald Trump DID NOT fantasize about initiating sexual congress with that 12-year-old girl. He noticed her, to be sure. But he was like, "Whoa there, Skipper," because that is his name for his penis, allegedly. "We're gonna have to wait at least a couple years before making looky-sex at that little girl, because we have standards, Skipper, yes we do!"
[wonkbar]<a href="http://wonkette.com/592221/donald-trump-never-raped-his-wife-and-even-if-he-did-it-was-classy"></a>[/wonkbar]And did we not just say Donald Trump watches ALL the sex tapes? He watched the Alicia Machado tape, we guess, and also he watched the Paris Hilton sex tape, even though that's the daughter of his great buddies. Who among us hasn't OH WAIT NONE OF US DO THAT, because we are not rapey creeps (ALLEGEDLY!) like Donald Trump.
[wonkbar]<a href="http://wonkette.com/597814/donald-trump-doesnt-think-megyn-kelly-is-bangable-like-his-daughter-ivanka"></a>[/wonkbar]Also too, know how Trump has talked in the past like he'd really like to bang his daughter Ivanka, if only it weren't for HE'S HER DAD? And how he, like, groped her on stage at the Republican National Convention? Yeah, that. There is a thing in the very same interview about his dear daughter Ivanka's tits 'n' ass, and it is gross:
[H]e saved his strangest comments for Ivanka, who was 21 at the time. “You know who’s one of the great beauties of the world—according to everybody—and I helped create her? Ivanka. My daughter, Ivanka. She’s 6 feet tall, she’s got the best body. She made a lot of money as a model—a tremendous amount,” he said. “She’s considered one of the most beautiful women. And she really is, she’s a great beauty.”
She was 21 at the time, though, so it's all fine! It's not like she was 12, like Paris Hilton.
Nobody gives Donald Trump credit for not being sexually attracted to his daughter Ivanka when she was 12.