Nobody's Bombing Anybody, At Least For Now

  • The U.S. has convinced its hotheaded friend Israel that it would take Iran a whole year to make a final push for a nuclear weapon, and that everyone would know about it a few weeks into that process; Obama's top advisor on nuke stuff says "A year is a very long period of time." Really, he says that! So now Israel probably isn't going to up and bomb Iran anytime soon. Also, the Israelis and Palestinians are going to talk to each other again, and they're totally 100 percent gonna work it out this time. [NYT/NYT]
  • Turns out that Native Americans don't like it when you make jokes about dressing up as a cowboy and shooting them, even when it's Mayor Bloomberg saying that Governor Paterson should do it. Don't worry, Seneca Nation, Governor Paterson is blind! He's not a very good shot. [Fox]
  • Democrats are kissing a lot of withered old-person ass in a desperate attempt to hold onto the House. [WP]
  • Did you know that if a dude hooked up with hunky Javier Bardem in Bali, he wouldn't be able to bring him back to the U.S.? Elizabeth Gilbert is on Capitol Hill to correct this injustice. [Politico]

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