None of This Would Have Happened If We'd Only Released Warrick Holdman
Washington Redskins fans are still coming to grips over the team's decision to release beloved middle linebacker Lavar Arrington. For many, Arrington was a "Mr. Redskin" figure--loudly cheered on the gridiron and admired for his friendly gregariousness off the field. However, Arrington spent the past football season under a dark cloud as far as his relationship with the team went, and fans were more likely to see him performing in one of his many locally produced commercials for Eastern Motors than in uniform.
In fact, mere minutes after we heard the news, we had a wistful moment as we watched Arrington's latest Eastern Motors spot with the legendary Biz Markie. However, that's when we had a disturbing thought. If it's true that, at Eastern Motors, "your job is your credit," where does that leave the jobless Arrington? Bereft of all credit? And if so, what are the larger ramifications of seeing a man with no job, and thus no credit, on television insisting that at Eastern Motors, one's job is one's credit? Is it merely a meaningless circumstance? Does Arrington retain credit by virtue of having served as Eastern Motors pitchman? Or does it actually represent a collapsing tesseract of unholy irony that could threaten the space-time continuum and unravel the very fabric of existence?
One thing's for sure, somehow, we always figure that Danny Snyder would be responsible for the end of the universe.