NOOOOOO: Entertainment Industry Kills Palin 'Boob-Gate'

Fox News and thepopular entertainment press have conspired to kill off Sarah Palin's "Boob-Gate." It's over and finished, done, no more fun, no more page views, basically the end of America -- but not really, because Palin herself had to get in a cutesy teevee reacharound with her Scientologist enabler Greta Van Susteren before the two cable clowns could pronounce the matter dead. Dare we share the gross video with the Wonkette community, on an otherwise lovely weekend afternoon? Does the Pope help priests rape children?

Well, we can't find any video. You have to go to the Fox News internet thing to watch it, which was their plan all along! But there is a transcript, and it is as gross and bullshitt-y and faux cutesy and faux outraged as you can imagine.

VAN SUSTEREN: You know, it's sort of interesting, Governor. I'll take a bet with you. Maybe you won't take this bet with me. But the last segment, we discussed policy. I asked about energy policy since energy is so important to your home state of Alaska. My guess is this next question I'm going to ask you, which is the buzz of the Internet, it's in mainstream media -- I bet it gets more attention than our discussion about energy. So here it is. Breast implants! Did you have them or not? Because that's all over the Internet about you, and mainstream media.

PALIN: Well, first, Greta, you know why we love you? Because you're not afraid to ask the questions. And I got to respect you for asking that question because I know that "boobgate" is all over the Internet right now because there are a lot of, I guess, bored, idle bloggers and reporters with nothing else to talk about. And I think some of those folks, too, they need to grab a shovel, go down to the gulf, volunteer to help, clean up and save a whale or something instead of reporting on such stupid things like that.

No, I have not had implants. I can't believe, yes, that we're even talking about this. I think a report like that is about as real and truthful as those reports that Todd and I are divorcing or that I bought a place in the Hamptons or that Trigg is not my own child. And we still put up with that kind of garbage, too, in even the mainstream media, Greta. It's amazing.

Calling Andrew Sullivan! This sounds like a tort, Andrew, and we expect you to pursue it. As for the Gulf Oil Spill, Palin, you disingenuous celebrity scam-artist, we can't wait to see you down on the Panhandle coast with your designer shovel ... posing for a few pictures before dropping it on a half-dead oil bird and going back to your suite. [Entertainment Weekly/Fox News]


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