North Carolina Cops Interfere In Foster Parents' Innovative Dead-Chicken-Based Discipline Program
In Monroe, North Carolina, Dorian Lee Harper and Wanda Sue Larson were arrested Friday and charged with child abuse after a deputy found their11-year-old foster child handcuffed to the couple's front porch. With a dead chicken tied around his neck. We're pretty sure that one's not even in the Bible, though we're constantly being surprised by what people think is in there.
Oh, and Mr. Harper is an ER nurse, and Ms. Larson is a supervisor with Union County's Department of Social Services (DSS). You know, the agency that runs the foster-care program. And they had four
additional foster other adopted [sorry for the error -- Dok Z] children in their animal-feces-filled home. So these guys are not weirdos or anything; they're respectable professionals.
Charlotte TV station WCNC reports that
Friday morning, an animal control deputy responding to a complaint about a loose pig found ... the 11-year-old boy handcuffed to the porch rail by his ankle. A chicken, whose feet had been tied together with string, hung around his neck. The boy appeared to be shivering, according to the sheriff’s office.
Moments later, a man came out from the house and questioned the officer about why he was there, according to a statement from the sheriff’s office. The deputy asked for an explanation and for the man’s identification. As the man pulled out a driver’s license, another child opened the front door, letting out several large dogs. The animals chased the deputy back to his patrol car off the property, said the statement.
In the time it took to secure the dogs, the sheriff’s office says the man freed the boy from the ankle cuff and took off the chicken.
So we've got a loose pig, a handcuffed kid possibly suffering from exposure, a dead chicken, and a pack of vicious dogs. How the hell is it that there's not also a meth lab or a weapons stockpile in here as well? (Also: A Alligator.)
Once backup law enforcement arrived, they arrested Harper and took the couple's five
foster kids into care, placing them temporarily with Social Services in another county, presumably a minimally competent one.
Neighbor Gene Wallace described Harper and Larson as "reclusive," saying that they seldom came out of their home at the end of a long gravel drive. In addition to keeping abused foster children, the couple also had a lot of animals on the property, because that's pretty much what a story like this has to have, too.
“Pigs, donkeys, llamas.. the whole gamut,” he said. “If we complain about their animals being on our property they get mad or they won't come to the door when you go over there.”
Following the arrest of the foster parents and the removal of the children, the Sheriff's department began investigating the scene and attempting to find out how it was that foster children were allowed to live in such a filthy home, apparently with no inspections by Union County DSS. Probably because freedom, and no need for a bunch of nosy government people getting all up in parents' business. Harper and Larson are being held on $1 million bail.
In a related development, Wonkette correspondent Doktor Zoom announced his intention to disavow any relationship with the entire goddamned human race.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.