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North Carolina To Legalize Annual 'Possum Drop' For Sake Of Fun, Stereotypes

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In a victory over the forces of Political Correctness and animal rights extremists, the North Carolina General Assembly has bravely legalized the annualPossum Drop in Brasstown, a New Year's Eve "tradition" (since 1990) that some idiots who own a convenience store thought would be fun. The special exception to the state's wildlife laws was passed after PETA had sued to stop it, arguing that it was cruel to the possums, which aren't actually dropped, but instead placed in a tinsel-lined plexiglass cage and lowered at midnight, just like the big ball in New York City (you have to say that like in the picante sauce ads).


While we aren't quite as worried as a News & Observer op-ed that the event amounts to "torment[ing] wildlife for fun," we do have to ask, WTF, North Carolina? Possum Drop? We can only hope that there's a jug band and everyone wears festive tuxedo overalls, and then they all write letters to blogs complaining that outsiders stereotype Souherners as a bunch of hicks. Besides, any fool knows that Chicken Boxing is the trendy thing now.

Yee Haw! Your state government in action.

[News & Observer / Image by Cory Marie Podielski]

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FINALLY. Of course, we say "finally," because we haven't been behind the scenes in the House Judiciary and Intelligence committees to witness the negotiating and wrangling firsthand, so we don't know what it's taken to make this happen, but clear your calendars for July 17, because Bobby Mueller is goin' to Congress!

Committee chairs Adam Schiff and Jerry Nadler sent the letter late yesterday, accompanied by a subpoena, for Mueller to testify at 9 a.m. Eastern on July 17, which is a Wednesday, so you will presumably not be busy with brunch. The hearings for each committee will be back to back, after which members of Mueller's staff will meet with committee staff behind closed doors.

Schiff told Rachel Maddow last night that it should not be viewed as a friendly subpoena, because as we all know, Mueller has been very reluctant to become the star of the political circus this will surely create. However, he's gonna have to suck it up, because as we all saw after what happened when Mueller addressed the nation for 10 whole minutes, there is great value in actually having Mueller breathe life into his own work, for an American audience that hasn't read his 448-page report. (And we don't blame them/you! We probably wouldn't have read it all if it wasn't our job. It would probably be on our "list," like "someday I am going to watch 'The Sopranos' start to finish finally. And then I will read the Mueller Report!")

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And because Robert Mueller is a patriotic American who respects the rule of law and our institutions, he will be complying with the subpoena, because of fucking course he will.

Right off the bat, we have a couple of questions:

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