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What Is Even Going On With This Nuclear Option Balls-Out Filibuster Vote Thingie

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Did you tune into C-SPAN2 this AM to watch an epic rap battle between Harry Reid and Mitch McConnell, two of the best rhetoricians the Senate has ever produced? Of course you did! Except the whole time you were just whisperyelling at your computer "do it, Harry. Do. It. DO IT AND DROP THE NUCLEAR OPTION HAMMER." Yes, Harry Reid grew a pair and finally decided to change the filibuster rules so that Mitch and his merry band of nihilists couldn't just say "naw mang, we don't like that dude because Democrat. Consider this our filibuster while we go back and take a nap." Majority vote, baby! Up or down like God intended.


We had lots of feels during the livestream, most of which involved yelling at Mitch McConnell for being Mitch McConnell, but let's see if we can't run this down for you in some coherent fashion. After a lot of dithering and inexplicable quoting of the Old Testament (Book of Numbers represent what what!) Reid finally got around to the BOOM and made the motion to change the Senate rules to an up-or-down majority vote for everything but Supreme Court nominations. Wait. That's not entirely fair to Harry Reid. We just dozed off trying to remember the middle part of what he said, which was actually quite important. Reid reminded us that basically the GOP is nothing but a wall of petulant obstruction that has been cockblocking nominations -- judicial and otherwise -- for no good reason. Except he didn't just say that. He droned on for like one million minutes reading names. But that is OK, Harry Reid, because ultimately you got around to the good part and gave the GOP what for.

And then we had to endure the root-canal-without-novocaine that is listening to Mitch McConnell speak. Seriously, Harry Reid is snoozeville, but next to McConnell he's fucking MLK. McConnell has a weird habit of repeating the exact same phrase in the exact same monotone and trust us when we say it is RIVETING. Mitch got up and mumblewhined about Obamacare, because the entire GOP is now genetically engineered to only talk about Obamacare. Mitch found some tenuous way to link this back to the filibuster by explaining that the whole battle is just a way to distract from the health care website failures and also too to jam more things down our throats. Does no right-winger ever think through that before saying it? Some more boring whining about how they've been super fair to this president, which is a meaning of the word "fair" that we were hitherto unaware of, but whatevs. Basically, the gist of McConnell's droning was that they've done quite enough to confirm people, thankyewverymuch, and also too the DC Circuit doesn't have enough work to do so why confirm people. Mitch also made a plea for tolerance of respecting minority views and no, we are not kidding. He really did that. Oh, and also, too, just because Obama got himself elected is no reason to allow him to pick judges, the end.

After all that, living breathing human dynamo Harry Reid called for a roll call vote, which passed, and now the Senate rules have changed to allow an up-or-down vote on nominations we think. Yay! But instead of just moving on, we are in some parliamentary procedure hell of cloture votes on the original DC Circuit nominee and Mitch McConnell making nonsense parliamentary inquiries . You guys, this particular portion of yr Wonkette was once a parliamentarian for a government body and it does not matter one bit because we still cannot follow Senate rules. After approximately one million votes, we thought that maybe it meant that the judge-in-waiting that is at the center of this kerfuffle, Patricia Millett, would now be seated on the U.S. Appeals Court for the DC Circuit but honestly WE HAVE NO IDEA. Now we have to spend the rest of the day watching CSPAN2 instead of porn. Dammit.

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Nancy Pelosi is making news again today after her weekly press conference, mostly because she said this about yesterday's nutbag performance from President Stable Genius:

[T]his time, another temper tantrum — again — I pray for the President Of The United States. I wish him and his family, his administration and staff would have an intervention for the good of the country.

She prays for him. And she's just kind of suggesting that maybe the president is unwell, in his brain. She's being very subtle!

When Glenn Thrush asked afterward what kind of "intervention" she might be talking about, she suggested that Article 25 would be just fine.

But many folks out there right now are saying "BUT WHAT ABOUT INPEACH! They are not going to do an intervention, because the intervention is called INPEACH!" (They are taking her words very literally, it would seem.) Every other damn day lately, there is news about how "NANCY SAID INPEACH IS BAD" or "NANCY SAID TRUMP'S ACTIONS IS SELF-INPEACH-ATORY, WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN, NANCY!" and whatever else, we don't know, because we have muted all of Twitter until further notice. (Here is some news about the House Democrats' weekly meeting yesterday, most of which was about Democrats yelling INPEACH! while Nancy Pelosi gave them cold showers.)

Here's the thing:

In today's presser, Pelosi was clearer than ever about her feelings on impeachment -- she doesn't like it, and she'd really hate for the nation to get to a place where that's inevitable, she is just saying it would be truly terrible for them to have to do that -- but they might just be FORCED to go there. And wouldn't that be just terrible? Nancy Pelosi is praying about that just like she is praying for Trump, under a big oak tree that casts all the shade she threw at Donald Trump for her entire fucking presser.

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Happy Throwback Thursday! Remember Paul Manafort? He's still in jail, don't worry. But it looks like he might be getting some company soon from his old pal Stephen Calk, who just got indicted today by the Southern District of New York.

Calk was a simple CEO and COB at the Federal Savings Bank of Chicago, but he had big dreams. He'd been an army pilot and a money guy, so he figured he was competent to be either Secretary of Treasury or Secretary of Army. He'd take Commerce or HUD, or even a cool ambassadorship to France, or the UK, or the UN -- he wasn't picky. Just any old position befitting a guy who is 100 percent going to be played by Michael McKean in the movie version of this nightmare.

Luckily Calk knew a guy on the inside. Sure that guy had recently been You're Fired from the Trump campaign for ratfucking the Ukrainian election, but Paul Manafort was still waving his bits all over Trumpland in the summer and fall of 2016, so Paul Manafort had the hookup that Calk needed. Luckily, Calk had what Manafort needed, which was MONEY. Manafort's fountain of untaxed cash had dried up since the Ukrainians gave his guy Viktor Yanukovych the boot, and he was in danger of losing multiple investment properties to foreclosure. So naturally Calk stepped up to the plate with $15 million in loans to keep the wolves at bay, because what are friends with more political ambition than scruple for, right?

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