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New York Gubernatorial Orgy Focuses On 'Rent Is Too Damn High,' Hookers

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  • America witnessed beautiful, unvarnished Democracy last night, and it was delicious. All seven mostly-insane New York gubernatorial candidates participated in a remarkably civil and friendly chitchat, and Carl Paladino didn't even say anything vaguely racist -- which is a miracle, Hallelujah et cetera. (Every time Paladino says something horrible, Satan has sex with an endangered woodland creature and then emails the sex tape to all his satanic co-workers/the media.) The star that shined the brightest last night was definitely Civil War-bearded Jimmy McMillan, of the Rent Is 2 Damn High Party. Jimmy mostly just wanted to point out that rent is too damn high, and also we think he said he is for gay marriage/shoe-marriage, as long as the rent is not too high? Gawker has videos. Kristin Davis -- the lady who sold hookers to Eliot Spitzer -- made an appearance, and she also made everyone uncomfortable with her big breasts. Click on all of these links we have gathered, so that you can learn more about this historic debate. [Gawker/Alex Pareene/Daily Caller/Rent Is 2 Damn High Party]

  • Our shadow government is angry at telecommunication megadeath companies, because all the new cellphone towers (or whatever) have created "technical obstacles" that make it difficult for shadowy government agencies to wiretap people. Not helping the government wiretap people is extremely illegal, according to this article. What? [NYT]

  • "Undecided voters who are about to settle the nation's most closely watched U.S. Senate race are facing a dilemma: They don't care for either Harry Reid or Sharron Angle." How long did it take McClatchy to realize this? Probably not as long as it took us to read that awful New Yorker profile about Harry Reid's dullness. [McClatchy DC]

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Fox news, the preeminent home of White Jesus and White Santa Claus, had a bit of a dustup this weekend involving a Black Democrat, a Trump staffer, and of course, black people picking cotton. As many of you may recall, Republicans often have this antebellum fantasy of black Democrats living on a plantation, probably owned by Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, trapped and desperate for "Free Market Solutions" to our mental slavery. So, it was absolutely no surprise at all when we heard White House advisor David Bossie tell black Democratic consultant Joel Payne that he was "out of his cotton picking mind," on Fox News Sunday. First of all, let me mention that this segment was about how victimized Republicans are because people keep calling them racist for saying and doing so many racist things. Like when people call Republicans Nazis for supporting baby concentration camps, BECAUSE IT'S MEAN AND HURTS THEIR RACIST FEELINGS. Man, they whine a lot.

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Scott Pruitt has been busy crooking up a storm since he became head of the Environmental Protection Agency, which he has dedicated his life to destroying. He's managed to stay under the radar somewhat because he works for an administration that kidnaps children, which is a bold but effectively distracting front for his grifting. It also helps that Congressional Republicans, including House Speaker Paul Ryan, routinely claim ignorance of his existence.

Unfortunately for Pruitt, the Office of the Special Counsel is very much aware he exists.

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