NYT on Rudy: 9/11 9/11 9/11
The New York Times would like to remind everyone that Rudy Giuliani was there, on 9/11, when 9/11 happened. So they are running a story that contains precisely no (0) new information about Rudy or 9/11 or anything, really, and it's half "what a hero" and half "what a dick" because it's the New York Times and that's their steez. Still, we love reading anything and everything about Rudy Giuliani and 9/11 so we read almost every word of this particular piece, and we have summarized it for you after the jump.
* Q: Why was Rudy "trying to get the vice president on the phone" when the first tower collapsed?
* Another Q: His Deputy Mayor was also named Rudy?
* Rudy fucked up the recovery but didn't just sit in a chair looking scared surrounded by 2nd graders so America liked him.
* His campaign to actually literally become Mayor For Life was embarrassing and long and now mostly forgotten by everyone who didn't live in New York.
* No one liked him before 9/11 because his police kept shooting unarmed black people and he kept divorcing wives in press conferences.
* He only made that dramatic "march" uptown from Ground Zero because he was stupid enough to put his emergency command center in the biggest terror target in the city.
* And really he should not have been hanging around Ground Zero so much that day anyway except that's where the cameras were!
* On September 12, Rudy met with a shrink, who advised him to talk "with an authoritative voice" and basically say nothing.
* Wanted to personally execute Osama bin Laden -- also hilariously thought Bush would look for Osama bin Laden.
* Told Dem mayoral candidate that he wanted to be Mayor for life a couple hours before Yom Kippur, when none of the Dem's advisers would be answering their phones.
* Kind of a megalomaniac.
* And a dick.