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Obama Administration (In The) Black

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President Taxes has dealt anew blow to capitalism and job creation and puppies and rainbows, and that is by running a surplus for the first time since the recession 'sploded in 2008. April saw a positive $58 billion in the old ledger column of however balance sheets work, due to increased revenues (maybe because more people have jobs?) and also cuts in stuff. And so it shouldn't be more than 10 minutes or so -- 20 at the outside -- before Rich Lowry starts screaming about how he needs tax cuts, since people know better than the government how to spend their money (blowout in the As Seen On TV aisle, Bump-Its for everyone!) and also because the government has more than it needs. (The government does not actually have more than it needs, because -- we're not sure if people are aware of this -- we have a thing called "a debt," all $15 trillion of which Obama invented, in his time machine.)


The U.S. government recorded a budget surplus of $58 billion in April, the Congressional Budget Office estimated on Monday, breaking a streak of deficits that began in 2008.

The surplus — the first of Barack Obama’s presidency — was the result of both increased tax collection and lower government spending. Before April, the government had not run a surplus since September 2008, the month that the financial crisis struck the U.S. economy. [...]

The improved budget picture will not put an end to election-year sparring about the deficit, however. The U.S. is running a debt of $15.7 trillion, a number often pointed out by Obama’s Republican critics, including White House hopeful Mitt Romney.

We feel like we might remember something in the far distant past, through space and time, when a country might have had a surplus, and one man wanted to save that money in case we needed it, and the other man wanted to blow it on coke and hookers, and then everybody laughed at the first man because he wore earth tones and now we are all fucked. [MarketWatch, via HuffPo]

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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Happy Sunday!

In case you hadn't heard -- last week, Glenn Beck's BlazeTV merged with CRTV to form an unholy voltron of right-wing drivel. Yes, for $10 a month you can watch a bunch of low budget talk shows that all appear to be mostly the same low-budget show, featuring a variety of mostly rando conservatives you've never heard of. Except for the racist guy from that duck show, whom you have heard of but probably forgot about entirely. I know I did!

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The rumors WERE true after all! John Kelly will be getting "You're Fired" retiring at the end of the year. The news of Trump and Kelly's divorce comes after months of speculation that the two had suffered irreconcilable political differences. As with previous failed marriages of convenience, Trump will keep everything, including the White House, and leave his former partner with only a crushed soul, an non-disclosure agreement, and a lifetime of regrets.

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