Obama Endorses Debbie Wasserman Schultz Over Hot Guy. Wonkette Respectfully Disagrees

Remember when we all liked Debbie Wasserman Schultz? She was so sassy, such a spitfire, hadn't tried to fuck Elizabeth Warren's consumer protection agency even once! Well, those days are looooong gone. Except in the White House, apparently, where Barack Obama has endorsed her for the 23rd Florida Congressional District over her primary challenger, Tim Canova. Let's meet Tim Canova!



Just kidding.

Besides being a hotsky-totsky bit of eye candy, what else should we know about Tim Canova? I ain't votin' for him if he is a crank!

Tim Canova does not seem to be a crank! He's not, like, some LaRoucheite. He's not running on a platform of chemtrails. He's a law professor (and law school dean) who worked on financial reform before it was cool -- he was trying to stop these fuckers back in the '80s. Here, let's ask his website!

While working on Capitol Hill [for Paul Tsongas, lol], Tim began warning about the rise of Wall Street special interests and the assault on working families. In the early 1980s, he wrote critically about the deregulation of interest rates and lending standards and the rise of subprime and predatory lending. These practices would eventually have a devastating effect on the people of Florida when real estate markets crashed in 2008.

Yup, that's how we remember it too. What has DWS been doing lately? Let's ask us!

She’s cosponsoring the “Consumer Protection and Choice Act,” which joins the Healthy Forests Initiative and Operation Iraqi Freedom in its brazenly Orwellian amounts of go fuck yourself. The — lololol cough cough CHOKE — Consumer Protection and Choice Act allows states to set their own limits for how much they’d like to gently lathe lave (heh heh Freudian as fuck whoops) and tenderly suck on the balls of payday lenders. In Florida, whose state laws regarding payday lenders DWS said were super totally great and awesome, the average interest rate for people with quick (lol “quick”) payday loans is 304 percent.

Anything else, besides boring lame anti-Wall Street finance stuff? Yes! Drugs!

Tim Canova is against the stupid fucking drug war, and for marijuana decrim and joy. Debbie Wasserman Schultz is against medical marijuana EVEN FOR YOUR MOM WITH THE CANCERS. That's fuckin' ridiculous!

That about it?

Yup. Sorry to disagree with you this one time, Barack Obama. We think DWS is a shithead, and that's not even taking into account "waaah with Debbie Wasserman Schultz as head of the DNC, there haven't been enough Democratic debates," because frankly we think there have been plenty enough goddamn Democratic debates.

Got some money?

You can give Tim Canova some money here, if you're made of money. And, as always, you can give us money here, just for bein' us.


Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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