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Obama Physiologist Steve King Finds 'Default Mechanism' That Makes President Prefer 'the Black Person'

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Rep. Steve King of Iowa discussed the Arizona That-Man-Is-Eating-Salsa-He-Looks-Suspicious Law on yesterday'sG. Gordon Liddy Show, which of course is something that exists (and is part of an all-Watergate programming block, sandwiched between the Ghost of Nixon Show and Human Resources With H.R. Bob Haldeman. Steve King gave his fans the Tea Party version of "Free Bird," saying, "the president has demonstrated he's got a default mechanism in him that breaks down the side of race -- on the side that favors the black person."


King hasn't explained where this mechanism is located on Obama's body or how it works, but as any Teabagger with a dental degree can tell you, this sort of thing is generally located behind the ear and has a slot that accepts (Kenyan) quarters.

Steve King hasn't gotten close enough to Obama's ear to test the mechanism himself, but the evidence here is obvious. There was that one time Obama invited that Harvard professor and cop to the White House backyard, King notes. And what happened? Obama's elitist heart would have told him to side with the academic, but before that could happen, SOMEBODY TRIGGERED THE RACE MECHANISM. And so Obama sided with black person.

And you don't need more examples because that is basically Obama's only job as president, tending bar while two dudes have an awkward conversation a hundred feet away from a thousand news cameras. But if you need one more, just look at this whole BP thing. Did Obama blame it on Moorish Petroleum? Nope. He let them off and blamed it on the white company instead.

King also gets mad at black person Eric Holder. "It looks like Eric Holder said that white people in America are cowards when it comes to race," King said. Media Matters tries to say King is misquoting Holder here, but look at the Holder quote yourself:

"Though this nation has proudly thought of itself as an ethnic melting pot, in things racial we have always been and continue to be, in too many ways, essentially a nation of cowards. Though race related issues continue to occupy a significant portion of our political discussion, and though there remain many unresolved racial issues in this nation, we, average Americans, simply do not talk enough with each other about race."

The key word here is "average Americans." What is the average skin tone of an American? The light tan of an Iowa farmer in early June. The average American is white, Mr. Holder, and you misspoke by including yourself in the words "average" and "American."

And so average American hero Steve King marches on, fighting the unfairness of minorities and all socialism that isn't corn socialism. [Political Correction]

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