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Obama Starting New War In ... Uganda! Sure, Uganda Sounds Good

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Worst. President. Ever.Is the War of Libya over? Who knows. How about the War In Iraq? Kind of dull these days, we guess. War against Afghanistan? Very expensive and busy, as always, but it's mostly boring Robot Raptors laser-blasting poor families in mud huts. And then we (ha ha, "we") have soldiers and troops and special forces and androids in another 117 countries around the world. A hundred and seventeen! Who knew we even had so many countries! But that's the Obama Administration for you! (The Bush Administration had military forces in 75 countries. So, Obama is better, we guess, at having American military operatives destabilizing the world, constantly.) Anyway, it's time for a war in a different kind of place. So much desert, right? Iraq, Afghanistan, Libya, Pakistan, Somalia, Yemen .... just one arid-ass place after another. You always need to have like two chapsticks. How about a jungle, for a change? That's different! Great, then Uganda it is. Send the "military advisers," haw haw.


Uganda, the Idi Amin country! Idi Amin was awesome, as a character in a terrifying documentary by the French director Barbet Schroeder. General Idi Amin Dada was a highly trained officer of the British military, of course, and eventually "went rogue" and was accused of eating all his enemies. (This is different than the practice of British officers, who preferred to eat "jam butties" or whatever, gin and tonics, and just starve whole populations to death by bombing a port or something, maybe a railroad.)

So what will we do for a war in Uganda?

President Barack Obama said Friday he's dispatching roughly 100 U.S. troops to central Africa to help battle the Lord's Resistance Army, which the administration accuses of a campaign of murder, rape and kidnapping children that spans two decades.

In a letter to Congress, Obama said the troops will act as advisers in efforts to hunt down rebel leader Joseph Kony but will not engage in combat except in self-defense.

Mmm hmmm. [AP]

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Robbin Young. Fair use so we can all see the boob picture she sent to her 12 true loves.

Robbin Young starred in the Roger Moore masterpiece For Your Eyes Only as the seventh female lead, "Girl in Flower Shop." She also starred in a bunch of Playboys, and the DM's of a humble Romanian hacker who stole her heart. But he was not a humble Romanian hacker, he was 12 Russian military intelligence officers in a trench coat. And now Young has shared those DMs and pictures of her buzzies with the Sun, because that's the one that's fookin' classy.

See how she loved! See how Guccifer ghosted her ass! See how she loves him (them) still! See how she was all up in Seth Rich and shit! (We think Young's judgment might not be awesome.) Also she wrote this "erotic poem," and we're going to need you to read it.

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And now it is time for your weekly reminder that in the Trump era, FUCKING APESHIT OUTRAGE WORKS.

On Monday, Donald Trump, the transactional president who for some godforsaken reason sees Vladimir Putin has his one true father, discussed making an Art Of The Deal with Russia that involved letting Robert Mueller interrogate the Russian spies who hacked America in 2016 (with Russian supervision, of course, in Russia) in exchange for sending Putin whichever American citizens hurt Putin's poor fragile butthurt pansy-ass feelings the past several years. One of Putin's targets is Michael McFaul, the former ambassador to Russia, whom Putin just hates. Hillary Clinton isn't on the official list yet, but give it a few weeks.

On Wednesday, Sarah Huckabee Sanders looked at reporters and told them Trump's people were considering the idea, but hadn't decided yet, because it's so hard for the Trump administration to decide how many treasons to do per week.

But hooray! The White House has decided that, after literally every American with a patriotic bone in his or her body said, "THE FUCK YOU SAY," they will not send Americans to Putin's gulag after all. The Washington Post reports:

The White House announced Trump's opposition Thursday as the Senate prepared to vote on a resolution telling the president not to honor Putin's request, which would have exposed former U.S. ambassador Michael McFaul, among others, to Russian questioning.

"It is a proposal that was made in sincerity by President Putin, but President Trump disagrees with it," White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said in a statement.

Oh my fucking Lord, Shuckabee, did you really type that Putin's offer was "sincere," or did Donald grab the statement after you finished with it and add those words in illiterate Sharpie in the margins, along with "DOES NOT MEAN PUTIN IS NOT MY BEST FRIEND" and "NO COLLUSION"?

By the way, that resolution passed the Senate with flying colors:

WOMP WOMP, Trump! Sorry American freedom and democracy stepped all over your dick again! Guarantee it's gonna happen again! Go fuck yourself! Enjoy the 48 Big Macs you have for dinner tonight! Don't talk directly into the soccer ball Putin gave you, 'less you want it to talk back to you in Russian!

OK post over.

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[Washington Post]

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