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Obama Starting New War In ... Uganda! Sure, Uganda Sounds Good

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Worst. President. Ever.Is the War of Libya over? Who knows. How about the War In Iraq? Kind of dull these days, we guess. War against Afghanistan? Very expensive and busy, as always, but it's mostly boring Robot Raptors laser-blasting poor families in mud huts. And then we (ha ha, "we") have soldiers and troops and special forces and androids in another 117 countries around the world. A hundred and seventeen! Who knew we even had so many countries! But that's the Obama Administration for you! (The Bush Administration had military forces in 75 countries. So, Obama is better, we guess, at having American military operatives destabilizing the world, constantly.) Anyway, it's time for a war in a different kind of place. So much desert, right? Iraq, Afghanistan, Libya, Pakistan, Somalia, Yemen .... just one arid-ass place after another. You always need to have like two chapsticks. How about a jungle, for a change? That's different! Great, then Uganda it is. Send the "military advisers," haw haw.


Uganda, the Idi Amin country! Idi Amin was awesome, as a character in a terrifying documentary by the French director Barbet Schroeder. General Idi Amin Dada was a highly trained officer of the British military, of course, and eventually "went rogue" and was accused of eating all his enemies. (This is different than the practice of British officers, who preferred to eat "jam butties" or whatever, gin and tonics, and just starve whole populations to death by bombing a port or something, maybe a railroad.)

So what will we do for a war in Uganda?

President Barack Obama said Friday he's dispatching roughly 100 U.S. troops to central Africa to help battle the Lord's Resistance Army, which the administration accuses of a campaign of murder, rape and kidnapping children that spans two decades.

In a letter to Congress, Obama said the troops will act as advisers in efforts to hunt down rebel leader Joseph Kony but will not engage in combat except in self-defense.

Mmm hmmm. [AP]

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There are perks to being the only Harvard professor willing to shill for the Bush League Mussolini. Everyone else has to haul ass to the Fox studio and sit for hair and makeup. Not Alan Dershowitz! He just parks his laptop in Pee Wee's playhouse and Skypes in that rant. Is he even wearing pants? We hope never to find out!

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Donald Trump hasn't been very busy today, because he is a lazy ass who lives in the People's House on the People's Dime and he doesn't really want to work. Also it's way funner for him to stay in the White House residence in his underpants and live-tweet his Executive Time while he ignores his wife Melon.

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