Obama To Open Offshore Office In Guam

Barry Obama was raised in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, exactly where he is opening an office right now. But this one will be on soil even more terroristic than Hawaii -- it will be in Guam, home to nothing.


Guam is a territory of the United States, or at least we pretend to own it. On May 3 it will hold a caucus and decide the next president. Since Barry is friends to all Offshores, his new office there will open in a couple of days. Barry offers this extremely helpful statement to explain why he gives a shit about Guam: "We must recharge the Guam economy. A strong and prosperous Guam is good for the people of Guam and in the best interests of the United States and countries of the Western Pacific region."

Hillary Clinton, meanwhile, considers a poor and impoverished (w/ mandates) Guam as better for the people of Guam.

Obama will open Guam office in next few days [Pacific Daily News]

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