In a move that shouldn't provoke any hysteria at all on the internet, the White House announced that President Obama will travel to Kenya in July for the "2015 Global Entrepreneurship Summit (GES)," which is a "global platform connecting emerging entrepreneurs with leaders from business, international organizations, and governments looking to support them."

In other words, it's cover for the President's secret mission to personally destroy the last vestiges of his actual birth records, and to intimidate or murder anyone who knows the truth.

Glenn Beck's Home For The Easily Excitable was so thrilled by the announcement that it couldn't refrain from talking like Tarzan:

White House deputy press secretary Eric Schultz he didn’t know [sic] if the president would visit family during the trip. Obama’s father is from Kenya.

“I don’t have any updates to the president’s schedule since we just announced the trip. But as soon as we can flesh that out for you, we’ll have that for you,” Schultz said.

Also, Mistah Kurtz he dead.

Commenters they excited too!

  • It will be great to see the Kenyan press coverage of the “native son” that made it to the White house.

    Maybe they will even dig up some birth records….

  • He won’t need a passport.
  • Is that where he hid his college records?
  • Home sweet home…

    Maybe he’ll hook up with Boko Haram for a day trip…

  • Staying with his brother, or going back to the hut he was born in?
  • p.s. don’t forget to take the ???? darn family with ya. Show Kenya what section 8 low class trash lives like in amerika

Conspiracy clearing house WorldNetDaily didn't yet have a front-page story about the implications of the earth-shaking news as we went to press, but they did have a huge scary headline warning that Christians are on the verge of being exterminated, again.

[White House / CNN /The Blaze]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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