Obama Will Indoctrinate Your Kids With Non-Biblical Computer Programming
What terrible things is President Obama doing to the children -- what are our future -- this week? Encouraging them to learn how to do science-y things with computers, which we can all agree is terrible because if God wanted us to know how to use computers, he would have written the Constitution in biblical code.
Instead of spending time clearing brush or making white people feel better about systemic racism or whatever it is real presidents do, Obama wasted, like, so much of his Monday encouraging children visiting from 30 different school districts around the country to spend an hour -- a whole hour! -- learning how to code, as part of 2014 Computer Science Education Week, which is obviously a terrible idea because it involves science AND education, ugh.
Then, to make everything even worse, Vice President Joe Biden literally told the girls in attendance that they are "smart as any guy," and the NINE PAID STAFFERS of Twitchy are ON IT! because Democrats are the real sexists and something something Ted Kennedy, probably. Maybe we are supposed to be OUTRAGED! that the vice president would say such a thing to a bunch of girls, because girls shouldn't have to be told they are smart. Or maybe we should be OUTRAGED! because everyone knows girls aren't as smart as boys. Meh, we are just going to go with "yes, let's tell girls they are smart and can do science things -- and not just related to make-up," because for some reason we can't quite put our finger on, that seems like something maybe they still need to hear.
The Obama administration also announced that it is going to try to do even more to help kids these days learn how to use computers good, since Obamacare killed all the jobs at Pony Express and Stagecoach Amalgamated, which is Uber, but with horses and buggies. All because some idiot -- Al Gore, probably -- decided computers are maybe a fad that isn't going away just yet:
By 2020, more than half of all science, technology, engineering, and math (STEM) jobs are projected to be in computer science-related fields. Yet a large majority of K-12 schools still don’t offer computer programming classes. That’s why commitments like those announced today by schools, companies, organizations, and communities across the country are so essential.
And that is how Obama is ruining your children today, the end.