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You can't dance like that.


Oh hey, Wonkers! Are you ready to have a new weekly feature crammed in your face by your loving Wonkette? Good, because it's happening. SO! Dok writes his nerd thing for all YOU NERDS, but where Evan (me) is concerned, it's all about music. So! On Wednesdays we will tell you about something fun or great or hilarious related to music! Like this thing, about your hipster-ass President Barack Obama and his first lady of a wife, Michelle:

SXSW is honored to announce President Barack Obama will appear as part of a Keynote Conversation at SXSW Interactive on Friday, March 11 and First Lady Michelle Obama will be the opening Keynote at SXSW Music on Wednesday, March 16. This marks the first time in the 30-year history of SXSW that a sitting President and the First Lady have participated in the event.

THOSE DAMN HIPSTERS. According to SXSW, Barry Bamz will be doing a thing about civic engagement, and Michelle will be talking about her Let Girls Learn initiative, which is some liberal feelgood thing about letting girls learn or whatever.

After they are done talking, they will go see all the new bands and immediately go home to their girlfriend Beyoncé and smugly talk about how they were into all of these bands before they Sold Out.

[contextly_sidebar id="jakWj8h5wEbaxRtqMcLtNNjIL1fvMEPt"]So there's your story about music. The second half of this feature is THE EASIEST. Every week we will spin the random shuffle wheel on our iTunes (which has 40 dongzillion songs on it) and make you a playlist of whatever 10 songs come up first. Got it? Spin wheel. Songs. You will dance just like Michelle Obama, except not as good, because obviously.

You won't like all the songs, because trust us, Felicia, we listen to everything. You might hate our rap music, you might hate our Tori Amos, you might hate our Tom Waits (you loser). The point with this shuffle is we PLAY IT AS IT LAYS. Because we ain't goddang care what you think. This does, however, mean that one day in the future you MIGHT get a dance party playlist with a New Kids On The Block song on it, because we are nothing if not nostalgic for our childhood.

So enjoy your hump day, listen to our stylin' tunes, and let us know what you're listening to lately (like maybe that new Andrew Bird/Fiona Apple song or the new collaboration between k.d. lang, Neko Case and Laura Veirs because OMG SQUEEEEEEEEE!) in the comments, which are still not allowed.

Here's your song list:

  1. Domo Genesis - "Salute"
  2. Chikita Violenta - "Tired"
  3. Whitey - "Brief And Bright"
  4. Queens Of The Stone Age - "Better Living Through Chemistry"
  5. Eldorado Red - "Baby Doin Numbaz"
  6. Tom Waits - "Come On Up To The House"
  7. Hunx And His Punx - "Lovers Lane"
  8. The Deep Dark Woods - "The Straight And Narrow"
  9. Carolina Story - "Memphis Hotel"
  10. Andy Elwell - "Your Will"

And here's your music:

We love you, goodbye.

[SXSW via Stereogum]

 

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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