• In-the-tank National Park Service is reporting that 1.8 million people attended Barry's Inauguration, but some people think the real number was closer to 1 million, meaning Obama is not even technically President. [DC Examiner]
  • Fannie Mae is laying off hundreds of people, most of whom live and work -- well, used to anyway -- in DC. [WTOP]
  • United Medical Center is once again an accredited hospital thanks to a $30 million bailout and the benevolent specter of Dr. Surgeon General Sanjay Gupta, M.D. [Washington Post]
  • The Presidential Inaugural Committee is handing out free leftover programs from the Inauguration to street hobos (95% of American families) -- to boil the programs and eat them between two Saltines -- and the ill-fated "purple ticket holders" who to this day are still being held in a bunker in Berlin. [DCist]
  • US News is launching an exciting "digital newsweekly", and online version of the magazine that readers can access on their own "personal computers" (or "PCs" in binary code). [Fishbowl DC]

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