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The wingnut fever swamp dug deep into the newest batch of Page-Strzok texts and they discovered ... NOTHING. So they commenced to huffing paint for several hours more until they found it! The smoking gun!


LUUUUUUUURES!!!!1!!!

Yes, the "proof" that the FBI embedded spies in the Trump campaign in 2015 is a seven-word text followed by a winky face.

You get all our oconus lures approved? ;)

And they're off and running!

Sure, it could be that. There's absolutely no reason to think so, but it's good enough for the Stupidest Man on the Internet.

And it's good enough for your president. Of America.

Yes, Donald Trump, a man with access to the best intelligence agency in the world, is tweeting shit from a subreddit called /r/conspiracy. Truly, we are trapped in the stupidest timeline.

So, was FBI agent Peter Strzok discussing top-secret intel with his girlfriend Lisa Page, an attorney in the Bureau? Or was he just making a joke? We are not a basement-dwelling mouthbreather, like the cool kids at the conspiracy reddit, but when we use a winky emoji, we are usually kidding.

In addition to which, Page and Strzok scrupulously avoided talking about actual work on their government-owned phones -- we read through all their texts -- and generally confined themselves to office politics and Strzok's search for a new position within the agency. Was Strzok making a joke about Page planting "lures" for him in a different department, like she did several times in 2017? We have no idea! And neither does anyone in the Infowars fever swamp! But say the scrambled brains crew is right about the acronym: Does ANYTHING point to the target of the "lures" being the Trump campaign? OF COURSE NOT. As usual, the residents of Dumbfuckistan are just making shit up. And because our president is a dumb fuck, he is right down there sniffing markers with the rest of the idiots.

And now we are all stupider! THE END.

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Please tip your Wonkette, who gloved up and got down into Gateway Reddit Moron Land FOR YOU!

[Page-Strzok texts]

Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.

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